Well that crash landed
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILooveMangoes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacca7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Know the difference, kids
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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Why don't cows wear flip flops?

They lactose.

Edit test.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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β€œWhat day is today, Adam?”

β€œFor the last time, it’s Christmas, Eve.”

Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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True story: We we’re driving in the car today when my five year old found an umbrella and opened it...

My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasn’t safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasn’t a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.

The kids didn’t get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so I’m pretty sure it counts.

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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Trees aren't stationary...

I was hiking in Olympic NP last year and we took a break. Soaking in the scenery and she was feeling philosophical; she said that 'it must be lonely to be a tree, you just stay in one place forever'. I let that hang in the air for a bit then replied, 'No, eventually you would leave'. She nearly choked on her water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolverine_wannabe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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[REQUEST] Star Wars Bird Puns

Working on a little something. Give me your best and I will include you in the credits.

So far I only have: Coo Skywalker

Edit: thanks for all the replies! I will post game here soon, and pm those whose puns I end up using.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wickjest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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My daughter will be a great dad someday

Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess - the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeDC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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What radio station do pirates listen to?

NP Arrrrrrrrr

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Idris Elba with the dad joke x-post from r/funny

http://i.imgur.com/GhtW3Vq.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelsew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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What state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minisoda

*I did not come up with this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geloni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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This submission to /r/techsupportgore
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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Xpost from /r/funny. Puns=dadjoke gold

I love these http://imgur.com/gallery/NpJs8

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stilsjx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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/u/TopRamen247 found dadding in the wild.

Found on this ELI5, /u/TopRamen247 proofs to be capable to be a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerbie3000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2015
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I just removed the "T"...

I received a text after helping a friend out today...

FRIEND: "Thanks for being here for me today."

ME: "Np, I had trouble getting there so I just removed the 'T' "

I also stole and butchered this joke from a comedian but she laughed anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chargerheadmob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2014
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Thought you guys would appreciate this post on /r/nostupidquestions...

http://np.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/2kxj73/what_is_carpool_tunnel_syndrome_how_do_i_avoid_it/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marx0r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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I dad-joked in /r/bitchimabus

> johnmal85

> Is there a subreddit with pictures of stuff in lava or hardened like this?

> > memorizemee

>> I'd try r/lava, but its pretty much dead.

> > > confluencer

> > > So are you telling me that /r/lava has cooled down?

> > > > memorizemee

> > > > God damn it...

Sauce: http://np.reddit.com/r/bitchimabus/comments/2ctipf/bitch_i_have_been_consumed_by_molten_rock/cjiwrjy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Got dadjoked on ELI5.

http://np.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2f8c1r/eli5_why_are_deer_extremely_sensitive_to_even_the/ck6wa5c

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lacqui
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2014
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What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ford456fgfd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What do pirates listen to on the radio?

NP ARRRRHH!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartacats
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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