During the war, when board games were illegal, my GrandFather was arrested.
He was a Yahtzee sympathiser.
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︎ Sep 25 2022
My grandfather went to war and came back with one leg.
Nobody knows whose leg it is yet.
๐︎ 58
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︎ Aug 16 2022
My family can trace our Dad Jokes back to the Revolutionary War
We keep them in the family Dada-base.
๐︎ 4
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︎ Sep 18 2022
My Italian mother never returned from the war
๐︎ 2
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︎ Aug 20 2022
When pausing Avengers (Infinity War) halfway through, my spouse asked when Iโd want to finish the movieโฆ
โฆ to which I responded, โAvengetually.โ
๐︎ 8
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︎ Jun 14 2022
I asked my friend who lives in Saudi Arabia what he thought about the Iraq war. He said he had no idea what I was talking about. Shocked I said, โ what? Its all over the news, have you been living under Irock?โ
๐︎ 7
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︎ Jun 03 2022
My wife tried to tell me a Civil War joke, todayโฆ
General Lee, I donโt like them, but that one was pretty funny.
๐︎ 6
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︎ May 12 2022
After watching me read โWar and Peaceโ, my son asked me, โDad, why is the book so thick?โ
Me: Well, itโs ......a long story.
๐︎ 10k
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︎ May 20 2020
My grandad was a famous spy in world war two.
That's how he got caught.
๐︎ 25
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︎ Jul 21 2021
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
๐︎ 28
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I have a cyst on my back and my wife helped me drain it. She won the pun war that night.
๐︎ 35
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︎ Jun 17 2019
๐︎ 146
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︎ Jul 12 2015
My dad lost his legs in the war and he sits on a wheelchair.
He gets off on lame jokes.
๐︎ 3
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︎ Feb 08 2020
My grandad was assaulted in the war with pepper spray and mustard gas.
๐︎ 67
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︎ Jul 22 2019
My dad says stopping Iran is necessary to avoid war.
I said โhow does my not running solve anything?โ
๐︎ 2
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︎ Jul 19 2019
People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures....
My response is usually "General Lee"
๐︎ 10
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︎ Sep 16 2019
I got trapped in a bidding war for a house because my wife loved the lengthy corridor.
Iโm in it for the long hall.
๐︎ 2
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︎ Aug 13 2019
My son today as we're watching infinity war: Dad I think know what Thano's favorite app is
๐︎ 10
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︎ Sep 01 2018
My boys did a terrible job picking up and putting away their toy bullets after playing war in the basement.
They are a couple of lousy nerf herders.
๐︎ 3
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︎ Dec 22 2018
When I was a kid I asked my grandfather who was born in 1944 if he fought in world war 2
He said yes and that he was in the infantry.
๐︎ 24
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︎ Apr 05 2017
My grandmother was a soldier in the second world War.
She was a real Gramma nazi!
๐︎ 3
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︎ Oct 27 2017
My father lost his left arm in the war...
๐︎ 2
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︎ Aug 26 2017
My marraige has had a lot of tension recently, because my wife loves to play tug-of war
๐︎ 5
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︎ Dec 03 2015
Studying Civil War history when my dad decided to pitch in.
Me: I can't believe I have to memorize the entire Gettysburg Address by tomorrow.
Dad: Make sure you don't forget the zipcode!
Me: -_____-
๐︎ 13
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︎ Jan 08 2014
My dad and war movies
Anytime there's a battle in a movie and one of the characters yells the command "Fire at will!" my dad, without fail, will smarmily say "How do they know which one's Will?"
๐︎ 4
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︎ Oct 31 2013
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