Police are chasing some leads now
A comedy of eras
Jonathan Duolingo
They / them
It really is a sign of the times.
Times Square.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
It left them in pieces.
Whoops wrong sub
They don’t take up mushroom
but we're okay now.
I have too much time on my hands
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
Probably mice elf! My self would need several mouse traps, but I can catch many, if they're dumb enough!
The teacher told him not to use tables
You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
Me : "Who? Me or me?"
Times were difficult.
So from a distance it looks like hares
It's difficult for them to stay in sink.
Because he couldn’t liquidate any assets.
Oh? You thought it was because he was short-handed? Wow. That’s what you get for assuming.
((My wife gets annoyed because when I ask a lighthearted question I always multiple replies ready to go; so, if she gets it right the first time I just redirect with a different reply. Keepin’ her on her toes!))
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
But there is no point.
I'll let you know
Dad: that’s odd, it felt hotter than that.
It's just gross.
Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".
Bananas
He had carpool tunnel syndrome.
He was Biden his time.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡I responded with hi pregnant, i'm dad.
"No you're not."
A long time ago. Adam and Eve were the first to multiply.
Doc said it's Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Microsoft Sentence
It’s two tents.
An open relationship
It's hard for them to stay in sink.
A comedy of eras
