Midget puns

Wanna hear my midget jokes? The list is alittle short though.

Today, I got yelled at for making an offensive midget pun. It was over something small though.

Why cant midgets get a girlfriend? They only do small talk

Why will midgets date anyone? They have really low standards

Why does everybody like a midget? They never look down on anyone

I was gonna tell another midget joke, but it came up short.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteakBarker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
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Many think that dwarves and midgets are the same thing...

...but they actually have very little in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Open_Tower2999
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison?

Yeah, there's a small medium at large

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nethermal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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A midget stumbles out of the bar...

He was a little drunk.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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If a midget smoked weed...

....does he get high or medium ?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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I ran into a midget cosplayer at a con...

He was a little Strange.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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what do you call a weed smoking midget?

medium

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pauu3r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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2 midgets are sitting around bored.

One of them pulls out some weed and asks his mate, "Wanna get medium."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What do you call a Parisian midget?

A metro-gnome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostOfSorabji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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A midget just groped me

It was a short squeeze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eothred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I met a midget once, our conversation was very awkward...

I’m not very good at small talk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A midget who was a fortune teller robbed a bank

The call went out that a small medium was at large

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndymionMM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.

I still think he was selling himself short.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Hot headed midget.

Short temper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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What do you call a midget pigeon?

A smidgen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aviddd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...

I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.

Seems like everyday he’s having little seizures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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If a midget gets mad...

Do they short circuit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carson0412
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I got into an argument with a midget and he wanted a fight

But I refused because I was the bigger man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairywithcancer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What is it called When a midget looks at you and happily starts waving his hand.......

It's called a Microwave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What do you call a midgets mother?

Minimum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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How do you roast a midget?

By putting them in an oven

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A micro-transaction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I waited a long time for my food at the midget restaurant

I guess they were a little short-staffed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schricker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I have a lot of respects for midgets

It would be wrong of me to look down on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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A drug addicted midget is the only thing that will always be both lower and higher than me at the same time.

Setting my heights real low on this one guys. Lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaSuperior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What happened to the midget who smoked a lot of pot ?

He got medium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abbsalon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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I can't believe my wife left me for a midget.

How could she stoop so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogitoX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that broke out of jail?

Police are saying there is a small medium at large

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosiekaykay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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You should always listen to a midget's opinion

They know what's up

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Where do midget Mexican muslims go to pray?

In the Mosquito

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongBakunawa
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Did you hear about the midget who could talk to the dead that was running from the police?

He was a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What do we want? Rights for midgets!

When do we want them?

Shortly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Hear about the gang of midgets that tried to rob a butchers shop

They went away empty handed, the steaks were to high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ffr0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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A psychic midget escaped from prison.

There's a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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What do you call a midget magician that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NecroUknown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison?

News paper headline read β€œsmall medium at large”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frozeneskimo02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?

a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firriki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Did you see the headline about the psychic midget who escaped from prison???

Small Medium at Large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordur-Oy-Jones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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A midget psychic broke out of jail.

It’s a small medium at large situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day

It was a little condescending

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What do you call a midget pigeon?

A smidgen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aviddd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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What did you call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What do you call a midget psychic on the loose?

A small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodyMorgan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Did you all hear about the midget, psychic that robbed a bank?

He's a small medium at large.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Midget psychic was in trouble with the law

He was small medium at large

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πŸ‘€︎ u/379447984
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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