I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".
" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
I met my wife at a singles bar...
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
I met my wife in Korea. I knew right away..
I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.
I met a noble Russian homosexual.
Every person you have ever met..
I met an awesome dude today, he was way into mushrooms
I met a midget once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
I told my kid that I met Rudolph.
He told me that sounds like snow much fun
How I Met Your Mother was just
Met a suspicious guy in a graveyard trying to give me a watch.
The fact a body was attached to it made it a dead giveaway.
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
I met a bipolar fortune teller yesterday...
She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.
The other day I met a whale who insists he’s the most honest mammal in the world.
But I don’t know... I still say there’s something fishy about him.
I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo. There he was, in his uniform...
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
I met my wife at a mental institution...
We are crazy about each other.
Yesterday I met someone who didn't know what × (the multiplication symbol) meant...
It really is a sign of the times.
Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible
I met a transformer who only had positive thoughts.
He said his name was optimist prime
I met a Jewish barista the other day...
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
Met a guy named Mushroom once.
I once met a polygamous farmer.
He had a concubine harvester.
I met one of my wife's new vegan friends. Then I froze....
Oh shit! I've slept with herbivore!
Two antenna met on a roof and eventually got married
The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was incredible
My dad told me he met that famous actor on his walk in the woods.
What did Scooby Doo say when he met Rick Astley in a dark alley?
I met your mother on a dating site.
I don't know, we just clicked.
Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.
It was a match made in heaven.
I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.
I still wonder what he named his other leg.
When Columbus discovered America and met Indigenous people,
I met a buddhist who was tragically afraid of inner peace...
I met an atheist who worked for a charity the other day..
She said it was a non-prophet organization.
Snoop Dogg met with an Accident.What did he break.
Have you met Mr. Mushroom?
I met my wife when we were both stabbed by the same knife
The biggest celeb i met while grocery shopping! Dude lost a lotta weight since Fight Club.
I met a creepy guy who forced me to take home a bunch of horses with swords in their mouths.
I met a man named Jim Apple the other day.
He has trouble introducing himself in France.
A dad meets his friend on the street. “Have you met my daughter Beth?” “No, what’s Beth short for?”
“I don’t know, most three year olds aren’t that tall.”
I met a man..
He said his name was dave but to call him dick. I said " how do you get dick from dave? He said "ask nicely"
Has anyone met a covid-19 survivor?
You get a lot of positive vibes from them!
I met a bipolar fortune teller yesterday...
She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.
(According to my facebook memories, I made this one up 7 years ago!)
The show "How I Met Your Mother" was just
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