Median Puns

The bartender says, “I’m glad you ditched your friend. He’s mean.”

Burrito!

He just doesn't agree with me. I think he is a very mean person.

They don't mean much.

He pulls over to investigate and discovers that a man has been there for quite some time. When asked why, the man says he's living Life In the Grass Lane.

How mean!

I know the math is correct, but that’s just mean.

maxidad

Because it's mean.

Please don't be mean.

Clerk: “Sure, buy all means”

Admittedly a median joke, at best.

Some want to become mode or median

I hit the median

Q: What is the average math teacher?
A: mean

Q: What dessert do math teachers eat the most?
A: pie a la mode

Q: Where does the average cop hide when catching people for speeding?
A: The highway median

Working with dad today : Dad : 'here's sone earplugs mate. You're only getting two .'

Me: 'thats fine I only have two ears '

Dad :' not everyone has two ears you know , some people have three '

Me : ' like who ? '

Dad :' well captain kirk had one left ear , one right ear , and a final frontier '

And my disappointed face leads him into hysterics haha .

Co-median

It’s all because of the left-wing liberal median.

We were driving to a friend's house for "game day". We live in Phoenix...we have flora that doesn't like living..because..it is Phoenix.As we were driving, we passed a huge palm tree on its last root (leg) of life in the median of the road. It is literally being held up by a few 2x4's. I look at my husband with the saddest look I can muster before I say "Babe, did you see that poor palm?". Husband says, "Oh yea, that big, dead-looking ones with the boards?". I respond, "Yea, sweetie, we should say a prayer. The poor thing is on LEAF support". He was not amused...I, however, giggle every other Saturday when we pass the tree to game day. Also, please don't worry about the tree. Now that Phoenix has made it through a hot summer, I bet after winter it will just spring back to life...assuming it doesn't fall. Lastly, sorry I'm not a dad or no actually dad said it...but I was channeling that inner dad when it happened! If I need to move this post it is okay!

SO: "Stop being so mean!"

Me: "How about you stop being so median!"

The first part in the exam paper was multiple choice. After the exam a few friends and I were discussing the answers to the multiple choice, question 2 was "Calculate the mean from the following data"

Me: "what did you get for Q2, the 'mean' question?"

Friend: "What? Q2 asked to calculate the median "

Me: "Noo..I guess I didn't read the question properly. I calculate the mean. And the answer for the mean was one of the choices. I guess, they knew some people would be stupid enough to calculate the mean instead of the median, so they put the mean as one of the choices, and I selected that answer."

Friend: "That's just mean!"

The bartender says, “I’m glad you ditched your friend. He’s mean.”

The bartender says, “I’m glad you dumped your buddy. He’s mean.”

Bartender: I’m glad you left your friend at home. He’s mean.

The bartender says, “I’m glad you ditched your friend. He’s mean.”

The bartender says, “I’m glad you ditched your friend. He is mean.”

The bartender says, “I’m glad you dumped your friend. He’s mean.”

I just think he's mean

That's just mean