Mechanic LePun James.
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Mar 11 2022
I really like what mechanics wear..
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Mar 04 2022
The mechanic asked me if I've ever rotated my tires.
How does he think I got here?
๐︎ 500
๐
︎ Dec 21 2021
The auto mechanic put my car on the lift without asking me first.
๐︎ 14
๐
︎ Feb 08 2022
Sumo wrestlers are a lot like mechanical Hard Drives
It takes forever for them to finish wiping
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Feb 25 2022
I just finished reading a book on permanent mechanical fasteners.
๐︎ 16
๐
︎ Feb 04 2022
My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine
Heโll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
๐︎ 10k
๐
︎ Mar 03 2022
What did one mechanic say to the other mechanic when he told him about the end of cars?
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Feb 16 2022
It's so cool my daughter wants to be a car mechanic, but I feel I must warn her.
It can be exhausting work.
๐︎ 124
๐
︎ Nov 21 2021
What time does a mechanic wake up?
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Jan 28 2022
What is a car mechanic's favourite show?
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Jan 01 2022
R. Kelly was granted a transfer from prison in Chicago to Brooklyn in order to participate in their auto mechanics apprenticeship program.
His lawyer stated that this rehabilitation program was best suited for Mr. Kelly given his lifelong fascination with Piston Heads.
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Jan 06 2022
I have mixed feelings about quantum mechanics
I both love it and hate it.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Nov 30 2021
Why did the mechanic kill his wife?
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Oct 28 2021
What do you call a mechanical analog computer that takes over a playground
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Oct 01 2021
Who provides Christmas gifts to the mechanic son's?
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Nov 21 2021
The mechanical stairs going up at the rail station are not working.
Is there anyway I can escalate this to higher management?
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Oct 12 2021
Why did the mechanic have a disappointing fashion show?
There was no time to change attire.
๐︎ 33
๐
︎ Sep 11 2021
I went to the mechanic today for an oil change and they offered a free tire rotation with itโฆ
I declined it saying they already do that when I drive.
๐︎ 18
๐
︎ Aug 21 2021
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?
He woke up oily in the morning.
๐︎ 23
๐
︎ Jul 15 2021
I just stopped at a gas station to get some air for my tires. Two dollars! For air! I canโt believe it, I remember when it was 50cents! I remember when it was free!
๐︎ 462
๐
︎ Nov 26 2021
The mechanic told me they got the car running again
But I told them I wanted it to drive
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Aug 04 2021
Why do pit stop mechanics need more rest than regular mechanics?
Because they tire faster.
๐︎ 34
๐
︎ Aug 07 2021
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
๐︎ 111
๐
︎ Apr 03 2021
Did you hear about the mechanic who got fired from the garage?
Apparently he had very poor motor skills.
๐︎ 14
๐
︎ Jun 23 2021
German mechanics
How tight do German mechanics torque the bolts?
Guten tight!
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Aug 01 2021
What did the mechanic put on his salad?
๐︎ 16
๐
︎ Jul 21 2021
I got an Art History degree but ended up being a mechanic
I had a customer who loved that I made their Van Gogh, but hated it when I talked their ear off.
๐︎ 41
๐
︎ Jul 02 2021
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
๐︎ 12k
๐
︎ Aug 26 2019
What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?
๐︎ 26
๐
︎ May 10 2021
My broken down car is haunted by the ghost of a mechanic...
He told me he really wants a pay rise but his supervisor can't review his performance without a working car-boo-rator.
๐︎ 14
๐
︎ May 23 2021
I asked my mechanic why he was dressed as a female fox.
He said he was just vixen my car.
๐︎ 22
๐
︎ Apr 24 2021
I always feel like an outsider around mechanical keyboards
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Jun 25 2021
UnPC Definitions of Heaven and Hell
Heaven is where the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian, the businessmen/bankers are Jewish, the police are Irish and the mechanics are German.
Hell is where the cooks are Irish, the lovers are Jewish, the mechanics are French, the businessmen/bankers are Italian, and the police are German.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Mar 11 2022
What do you call a mechanical polar bear
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Jun 17 2021
How did the mechanic feel after he left the muffler shop?
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ May 22 2021
Why did the driver leave his car on the edge of the cliff?
Because the mechanic told him it needed more suspense
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Mar 10 2022
I had a mechanic fix up my lunch
but he didn't know how to tuna salad
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Apr 28 2021
What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Apr 23 2021
What does a mechanical frog say?
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Mar 05 2021
My mechanic said there was nothing wrong with my...
๐︎ 100
๐
︎ Feb 16 2020
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Jan 05 2021
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions
Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Oct 06 2020
Why did the fish drive to the mechanic
They needed a โtuna-pโ
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Apr 27 2021
Why are KKK members terrible car mechanics?
They never check under the hood.
๐︎ 38
๐
︎ Dec 27 2020
Who's the best friend of a french mechanic?
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Mar 17 2021
My old car's steering started to shake so bad I can barely park it on the street.
The mechanic says it has Parallel Parkinsons.
๐︎ 13
๐
︎ Jan 30 2022
I really like what mechanics wear...
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ May 08 2021
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?
He woke up oily in the morning
๐︎ 17
๐
︎ Dec 23 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
