Marvelous Puns

doing some last minute marketing, anyone can provide me medical related avengers/marvel pun? no matter how bad it is

I mean he's essentially a giant banner

The Pun-isher

"He should be called Hi-Ki. Because he is Lo-Ki's elder brother".
He nearly cried.

I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.

"No it's not, it's MUNday!" The apprentice has now become the master.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

you've got another Thing coming.

Marvel obviously ran out of names for their heroes. They named him "Antman". Wouldnt it just be better to name him "Uncle"?

He wanted to keep it low key (Loki)

It allows him to be low-key with his mischiefs.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

They could call it "The Fast and the Furious."

Bay-to-Ray Bill

So I put on hulk cosplay and I send a pic of myself to pops

     Dad? Guess whose this?? <<

>> A virgin.

Fml

It was quite a Marvel.

The X-men

He said it was Marvelous.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

I really enjoy watching the end credits.

She called him Andrew.

With Avengers

... he will snap anytime now."

A T'Challanger

G-sus

Watching the first Avengers movie with wife...
W: That's Thanos, right? Who does him?
Me: Mrs. Thanos, I would imagine.

I call them Pepper Pots and Tony Starch

...but I haven't heard anyone say that in a while.

Edit: You kids have made my day. I'd like to thank all of you for this marvelous chain of dadjokes.

Its sad he died but at least he lived a marvelous life

i was at a wedding and one persons suit was marvel characters and my dad says "well that's just marvelous"

general lee marvelous.

You’ve heard that eating fish makes you smarter? Well, here’s the proof!

A customer at the local grocery store marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

“Tell me, what makes you so smart?” he asked the owner.

“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” came the reply. Then, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldn’t hear, he continued. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”

“You sell them here?” the customer asked.

“Only $4 apiece,” said the grocer.

The customer quickly bought three. A week later, he was back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasn’t any smarter.

“You didn’t eat enough,” replied the store owner, and the customer went home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he was back and this time he was really angry.

“Hey,” he said, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2.You’re ripping me off!”

“You see?” replied the grocer.“You’re smarter already.”

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/eating-fish-makes-you-smarter/

The Amazing Spider-man was directed by a guy named named Webb.

For The Wolverine, they hired a guy named Mangled (Mangold)

And Guardians of the Galaxy was made by guy named Gunn.

So I am expecting them to announce that Kat Dennings will be directing Black Panther any day now.

http://i.imgur.com/nTnHOET.jpg

Marvel-ous

It was Marvelous!

Barista: Some people say it tastes like dirt, but what do they expect, it was ground this morning.

She was marveled.

"Marvel to introduce female Thor. Women's status in comic books has gone from bad to Norse."

So my whole family went out for the traditional Jewish Christmas Eve dinner of Chinese food, and I marveled at how good the place was, since we'd never tried it out before. Dad says it was a recommendation from a friend of his who I didn't know; I asked what she did and he said she was a 2-year old nursery school teacher.

I replied, "Wow, she must be pretty advanced for a 2-year old if they let her teach nursery school!" My step-mom laughed, then looked at me, then back at my dad, and went "well, he's definitely got your sense of humor."

• Allow => A-meow
• Apology => A-paw-logy
• Appalling => A-paw-ling
• Attitude => Cat-titude
• Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
• Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
• Because => Be-claws
• Before => Be-fur
• Bother => Bo-fur
• Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
• Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
• Catch => Cat-ch
• Clever => Claw-ver
• Confusing => Con-fur-sing
• Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
• Different => Dif-fur-rent
• Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
• Familiar => Fur-miliar
• Feeling => Feline
• For => Fur
• For real => Fur real
• Forever => Fur-ever
• Forget => Fur-get
• Fortunate => Fur-tunate
• Forward => Fur-ward
• Friend => Fur-end
• Furious => Fur-ious
• Further => Fur-ther
• Get or Got => Cat
• Help me out => Help meow-t
• History => Hiss-tory
• Hysterical => Hiss-terical
• Inferior => In-fur-ior
• Kidding me => Kitten me
• Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
• Literally => Litter-ally
• Literature => Litter-a-ture
• Lost => Claw-st
• Lying => Lion
• Magnificent => Meow-nificent
• Marvellous => Meow-velous
• Minimum => Mew-nimum
• Misery => Mew-sery
• Moment => Mew-ment
• Mountain => Meow-ntain
• Move => Mew-v
• Music => Mew-sic
• Musician => Meow-sician
• Never => Nev-fur
• New => Mew
• Now => Meow
• Over => Ov-fur
• Paper => Pay-purr
• Pardon me => Paw-don me
• Pause => Paws
• Perfect => Purr-fect
• Perhaps => Purr-haps
• Permission => Purr-mission
• Person => Purr-son
• Personal => Purr-sonal
• Persuasion => Purr-suasion
• Places => Purr-laces
• Please => Paw-lease
• Portable => Paw-table
• Positive => Paw-sitive
• Possibility => Paw-sibility
• Possibly => Paw-sibly
• Precious => Purr-ecious
• Prefer => Paw-fer
• Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
• Pretty => Purr-ty
• Priceless => Purr-iceless
• Prince => Purr-ince
• Princess => Purr-incess
• Puns => Purr-ns
• Purpose => Purr-pose
• Referring => Re-fur-ing
• Respond => Res-paw-nd
• Simple => Sim-paw-le
• Suffer => Suf-fur
• Superior => Su-purr-ior
• Tale => Tail
• Talent => Tail-ent
• Tell => Tail
• That’s all => Cat’s all
• Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
• Very => Furry
• Whenever => Whene-fur
• Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
• You => Mew
• Apologize => A-paw-logize
• First => Furr-st
• How are you? => Meow are mew?
• Morning => Meowrning
• Phon

I walked into a Michaels store today and saw a sales sign that had fallen off its stand from one side.

The sales associate saw me looking at it and said, "If you were wondering, we are having a sideways sale!".

I couldn't resist. "Well, that explains why the prices had dropped by half! "

We knew what we did. It was marvelous.

I'm an architect and visited a house with my boss and the client today which is nearly finished. We were talking about the marble counter he got for his bathroom and how nice it is.

My boss - "Yes, client, we really think you're doing a marvelous job with this so far..."

Me - "Maybe even a marbleous job"

silence

Me: I can't believe Marvel made something so dark.

Dad: Well yeah, he's blind.

As I was driving and receiving directions from my friend in the back seat while my other friend was in the front seat I knew he would be a great dad.

Me: so turn here?

Backseat: yep take a left on Nichols (the street)

Frontseat friend: well I would rather turn on Dimes....

Followed by his own brand of slight chuckle. It was marvelous

You have issues.

I was talking with my friend about the changes coming to the Marvel character Thor (him becoming a her). My father then pipes up and says "well if I had a sex change I'd be Thor too."

Mighty groans abound.

While watching a Modern Marvels clip about vulcanized rubber I turned to my son and told him "It helped the tires to live long and prosper." He gave me nothing, my own dad however loved it.

We were at Disney marveling at the amount of pineapple sorbet they serve you (for $5, that is) when I said:

"Man, they just Dole it out, don't they?"

My brother just stared at me.

Talking about video games.

Me 'yeah I like Forza.' Him 'but it has Marvel ultimate alliance too.' Me 'I like Forza better.' Him 'so you're a raceist?'

After the credits rolled in typical Marvel fashion, we had an easter egg, of Howard the Duck.

"Looks like the easter egg hatched, otherwise we wouldn't have seen Howard"

He's essentially a giant banner

....I mean, he is essentially a giant banner.

He's basically a giant banner.

He's essentially a large banner

He is essentially a giant banner.

He is basically a giant banner.

He's essentially a giant Banner

He’s essentially a giant Banner

He’s pretty much one giant banner..

It was Marvelous