I said to her, "That sounds too hard. I'd prefer to save more with ease."
...and that’s why she’s always grandmatically correct.
So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said “yea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.
She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).
Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.
She looks up, smiles, and says “It was your punish-mint.”
We were talking about a mutual friend recovering from cancer:
Wife: .. and her tumor shrunk at least 50% now.
Me: (almost instantly) So it's a onemor now? Good for her!
Wife: (Silence then a groan)
..I think I'm going to hell for that one.
EDIT: grammar thanks jonty57
Dad: So there are two morons, a little moron and a big moron, walking on a bridge. The big moron falls off. Why didn't the other one?
Me: Why?
Dad: Because he was a little morON.
Today he was playing with one of his parents dogs and looking at the two tumors that she has (they are benign). He said, "one more and she'll have a three-mor!"
I posted a picture on Facebook of my grandmother wearing a fantastic hat from when she was my age. My family is Swedish, the word for grandmother (mother's mother) is Mor Mor. He commented on one picture thusly:
Dad: I will be posting a collection/selection of your Mor Mor (not your Mor Mor Mor) but actually some may contain both your Mor Mor and Mor Mor Mor who is you mother's Mor Mor. But you knew that.
(Then correcting his omission)
Dad: I meant to indicate it would be a hat based collection but got mor than confused.
Bonus points for attempting to learn Facebook, dad.
