What kind of tree comes from your mouth?

Poetry.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h3rmitsunited
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of trees grown in the bathroom?

Toilet-trees

.....I'll show myself out

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarvedAsian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
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What kind of apples grow on trees?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TropicalBasil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that moss only grows on the north side of trees?

You could almost lichen it to a compass.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ballatik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Who’s the tallest hobbit of all time?

Scottie Pippin

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeekerSpock32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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My friend inherited a deciduous forest with 2 oak trees that was poorly taken care of. It needed TLC!

The greenhouse spruced it up for him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
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saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition

I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister is very protective of her tree nursery.

She said to leaf it alone.

(I’ll take my leaves now)

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicWinterWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
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What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?

An evergreen

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7bladesofgrass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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My lumberjack friend told me that he'd cut down a total of 13,207 trees.

When I asked how he managed to keep count,

He replied, "I keep a log"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DementedOak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you know every tree over the age of two is not a robot?

They pass the two ring test

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_orlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a kind of tree hat can fit in ur hand?

A palm tree πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jen_Klen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the band that got cancelled by PETA for their album art featuring trees made of flesh?

They caught a lot of meatwood flack

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burritovore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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I need to learn how to take care of my new tree

So I'm going to nursery school.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gideonindc
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.

He refers to himself as a conifer

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.

It was the list I could do

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My holiday home neighbour planted a tall row of trees blocking my view.

Sun-off-a-bach!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOffbeatTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Yesterday, I saw a group of trees sign a paper

It was a peace β€œtree”ty.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THISISWARDUDE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...

It's called What Sap.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 237
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What kind of books grow on trees?

Apple MacBooks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidRedditorBTW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of tree grows around dead people?

A ceme-tree

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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No historian has ever found the remainder of the cherry tree George Washington chopped down

They’re stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Degen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What cheese gets bears out of trees?

Camembert

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzy_7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the cat afraid of the tree

Because of its bark

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The US grows two different species of cherry trees

Washington and Michigan grow both the sweet type, which is great for eating raw, and the sour type, which is used in pies and sauces.

But California grows only the sweet type. It's untarted cherritory.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitwiseshiftleft
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.

Police admit they are stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree nut is best to take out on the boat for an all day fishing trip?

A Pecan

but only if you pronounce it "pee can"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree that has feathers instead of leaves?

A Poultry. πŸ˜„

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WildRiceParadise
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When no one is around, I would loudly describe the process of cutting down a single tree.

It is just a mono-log.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree shakes in the cold?

A brrrrrch.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What would you call the King of the trees during the dinosaur era?

Tree-rex

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about picking the right species of Christmas Tree?

It's a huge Pine in the Ash

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TangerineX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all

G : what type of apples grow on trees ?

my dumbass : idk red and green ?

G : all of them do

wheezes

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malikbefine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What is big, green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A snooker table

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RACOON_IN_MY_ASS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 265
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A Palm Tree

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What types of apple grow on trees?

all of them

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil-subedi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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