No matter how popular Spongebob Squarepants is

Patrick will always be the Star of the show

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarcoMacro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Apparently, the producers of The Flintstones were planning to make one final episode where Fred’s brother marries Barney’s brother.

It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans weren’t yet ready to have a gay old time.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
After watching a few episodes, I have to say that even though Spongebob is the main character,

Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A great dad joke I just heard in an episode of The Sopranos

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you’re taking up Astronomy in college.

Kevin Bonpensiero: No, business.

Tony Soprano: Well how come he keeps saying you’re taking up space in school?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day." twitter.com/meganamram/st…
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Remember this spongebob episode imgur.com/FRcTRxU
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seanyboy109
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
**Dad:** Hey M, did you hear about that kidnapping? (my little sisters name is Emma, everyone calls her M for short)

My Little Sister: No! What happened?!

Dad: Dont worry, he woke up.

My Little Sister: ROLLS EYES

Me: Hahahahahaha! Nice.

My Little Sister: Omg! Is this funny?

Dad: No, THIS IS PATRICK! (We all really love SpongeBob SquarePants)

I GET UP TO GIVE MY DAD A HIGH FIVE AND HIS PHONE RINGS AS SOON AS I GET UP. IT'S MY MOM CALLING HIM FROM THE KITCHEN

Mom: Hi, I was wondering if I had the right number. Is this funny?

Dad: No! THIS IS PATRICK!

My Little Sister: Really?! You too Mom?!

Mom: No, I'm 49 sweetie.

My Little Sister: Nevermind! I'm watching, "Black Mirror," in my room by myself.

Dad: Sweetie, African American, don't just call them Black. That's not nice.

My Little Sister: ............. I hate you all.

  • I know this isn't necessarily a,"Dad Joke." It's more of a conversation my Dad and Little Sister had. But it was seriously one of the funniest moments I've ever seen.

  • I really love my family. Lol

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I only watch the first two-thirds of every Great British Baking Show episode.

The final challenge is a real showstopper.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lanman33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
2020 is just one long episode of Friends...

Because it hasn’t been my day, my week, my month or even my year

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nigeriantoast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad leaving for his golf game

Dad: "Did you keep my two pair of pants?"

Mom: " umm but why two ?"

Dad: in case i get a hole in one

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RookieZA23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Just watched an episode of MasterChef. The contestants had to successfully infuse a lump of meat with THC or get eliminated

I guess you could say the steaks were high

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ife2105
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a list of ingredients to make plastic explosives.

I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..

.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.

(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plantborb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
So I made this list of people ranked by their interest in paper based drawing boards.

I call it the flip charts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrowningStructure
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. β€œWait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: β€œChamorro? It’s Chursday.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Make two rectangles out of a diamond using one line

This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".

I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbore_729
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
- Dad, explain the tides to me?
  • Well, first of all, there's sponges!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peter-the-average
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
πŸš€ β€πŸŒ•Cybertruck Prototype πŸŒ• β€πŸš€

β€πŸš€πŸŒ• ‍ELON TWEET HYPE, BUT WITH LEGIT LONG TERM DEVS . πŸŒ• β€πŸš€
Strap in and get ready to launch.

This was created by a professional dev team of HOGL And BUFFTOWN (Developers of HOGL and Shield) They are dedicating their spare time to launch this as a meme project that will explode. Get in. We’re going to run this long term for listings on both CMC and Gecko.
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r /CyberTruckPrototype

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lynseahoss
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The show was called Spongebob Squarepants...

but everyone knows the star was Patrick.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
The show was called Spongebob Squarepants

But everybody knows the star was Patrick

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Spongebob Squarepants may be the main character on the show..

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
We all know the show is called spongebob squarepants

But Patrick is the star

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6blitz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Patrick not the star of SpongeBob Squarepants?
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tokamak-drive
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
🚨︎ report
The show is called Spongebob Squarepants...

But everyone knows the real star is Patrick.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
We all know the show was called Spongebob Squarepants

But the star was Patrick

πŸ‘︎ 322
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MLBfutureStar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
We all know the show is called Spongebob Squarepants.

But the star is Patrick.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbykooll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Spongebob Squarepants is the main character

But Patrick is the real Star ⭐️

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j0hnnyj0hns
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I know that SpongeBob is the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Spongebob may be the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A List of My Favorite Dad Jokes
  1. My
  2. Favorite
  3. Dad
  4. Jokes
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasAllenSimms
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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