I paid off my new limousine up front, but now I can't afford to hire a driver. So much money spent.

And nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Wanna hear a limousine joke?

Never mind, it's too long.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kachow--
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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If Tesla made a limousine...

Would it be Elongated?

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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I told my son the time I drove to work in a limousine.

He didn't believe me. Well I can't blame him, it WAS a bit of a stretch.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piclemaniscool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
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My dad got me pretty bad with this.

So one time there was this kid named Tim. Tim wanted to really wanted to go to the school prom with a girl named Janet. So one day, at school, he walked up to Janet and asked if she wanted to go.

She said yes!

So once she got home she told her mom. Her mom was very excited for her and called all of their family to share the news.

Then, that weekend, Janet and her mom went dress shopping. They looked and tried on several dresses until they found the right one. Janet tried that one on and was very happy.

Meanwhile, Tim needed a tuxedo. He looked online and found a great shop and put in an rental order.

The next week he came in and picked it up. On the way home he picked up a corsage. And once he got home, he ordered a limousine.

The day of Tim put on his tuxedo and grabbed the corsage just as the limo arrived to pick him up. Then the limo took him to Janet's house and her parents took a lot of pictures of the two of them.

Once their parents were finally done taking pictures, they left for the prom.

They bought their tickets and went inside and danced for a while.

And then, Janet asked Tim to get her something to drink. He went to find something, but there was no punch line!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rymike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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My eight year old niece dad joked me with this one.

Can I tell you a joke about a limousine?

..... Well, I can't. It's too long

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
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Limousine

Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinosoursrule
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Just spent $300 dollars on a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver......

Cant believe i just spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phyzix1981
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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