I was at a restaurant with my dad, I asked him if he was getting the Chicken Cordon Bleu or the Chicken Kiev.
He said, "the Cordon Bleu's good, but I hear the Kiev is revolting."
(groan)
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π
︎ Mar 02 2014
A cheese factory had exploded in France
There was nothing left but de Brie.
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︎ May 07 2021
I made my mother's French sister angry
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︎ May 03 2021
LES GOOO
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I made this She's got of lumps and bumps but I'm overall happy she's finnished kings, queens, and non-binary beans I present to you, my Les-bee-ian ππβ€οΈπ§‘π€π
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π
︎ Mar 21 2021
Sacre bleu
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π
︎ Nov 23 2019
Popey Le Pew.
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π
︎ Feb 06 2021
I gave my french girlfriend a pendant with "le monde" carved in.
It means the world to her.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
*le body builder me
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
What did the French cat say when it wanted to go outside?
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π
︎ Apr 05 2021
Did you know vampires arent real?
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π
︎ Nov 01 2019
My friend who grew up as an orphan officially became a priest yesterday.
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π
︎ May 20 2021
I was just asked about the name of the song written by Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Oh NO!!! Just found out I failed my German exam...
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π
︎ Mar 25 2021
A gate hand-le
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π
︎ Jan 21 2020
Whatβs it called when I sneak my favorite soda into a long, boring musical?
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π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Last time I was in Paris...
...I went up to a newsstand that wasn't doing much business and asked the proprietor for a copy of Le Monde. I knew it would mean the world to him.
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π
︎ Apr 03 2021
I ain't no fortunate one
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
-Mary, where are the kids?
-In French.
-Mary, ou sont les enfants?
(It's a classic dad joke that makes a little more sense in my language).
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π
︎ Mar 05 2021
Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
Le shower head: Every naked person turns me on.
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π
︎ Jan 04 2020
What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 30 2018
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
It was Parmageddon,all the was left was debrie
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︎ Jan 09 2020
I once asked a Frenchman how far it was to the capital city of Malawi.
He replied 'Le long way'.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
In a group chat with my girlfriend and her dad and he sent this
https://imgur.com/a/zLeRYMp
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︎ Dec 14 2020
What does a French dominatrix say as she whacks you with a baguette?
Welcome.. to the world of le pain!
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π
︎ Nov 06 2020
A Bird-le, requested by U/mykylodge
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 09 2019
Can you hand-le the truth?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"
Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.
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π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Le Gogh
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π
︎ Dec 15 2018
I don't think he can *hand*le it
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 18 2019
Le(g) epic gamer moment
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
Le pun
Whats brown and sticky?
...
A stick ππ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
nEck-o-leS CaGe (Ask to repost)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
Everyone keeps talking about some dude named Les who is really sad and Iβm hoping to meet him soon and cheer him up.
Then he will be.......Les Miserable.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
By Le-bone-ardo da Vinci
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π
︎ Sep 20 2018
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Aug 22 2017
Why was the cheese sad?
Because it was bleu....
I know I know cheesy joke.. but surely we can all agree it was still gouda!
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︎ Aug 27 2020
DadHelp wanted: more variants for "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke to amuse kids
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
-
French cow: le moo
-
Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
-
Inaudible cow:
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π
︎ Oct 08 2020
Halloween Costume
My friend's dad was telling me about a costume idea he had yesterday
"You put on a blue shirt, wrap an electrical cord around yourself, and then tie a rubber chicken to it"
His costume?
Chicken Cordon Bleu
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π
︎ Nov 01 2013
What's with the "Le Derp" comics?
They are all the rage these days.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 12 2018
Why did Pepeβ Le Pew prefer small Spanish Swords?
Because they are a little rapier...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 26 2018
I asked my chef friend if they ever serve steak raw...
He said yeah but it's rare.
π︎ 276
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︎ Jan 09 2018
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...
The judge asks, βFirst offender?β The wife replies, βNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.β
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 21 2019
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de brie
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 15 2017
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