I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...

I think it's pretty hot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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My kink is lava

It's really hot

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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If you have a lava lamp in your basement...

...isn't it a magma lamp?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chirstain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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My kids got on the subject of lava & asked: β€œCan you drink it?!”

So I said, β€œSure! But it’ll go right through you!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soofadalooka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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A friend asked me if anyone has drunk lava before...

And I told him they probably had a meltdown.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KandyforNASA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Ya know why you can’t bury a lava lamp?

It becomes a magma lamp

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_related_to_OJ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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I just really hate it when Anakin falls in the lava,

I don’t know what it is. I think my heart just is panakin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBobbyester
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Have you ever tried freezing lava?

It's super hard

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Did you know we can drink lava?

Yeah, but only once.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sailorsam90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Lava is the hipster of the geology community

It knew how to rock before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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If you ever find yourself in lava, don't panic.

Just go with the flow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Did you know you can walk on lava?

You can only do it once, though.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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There was once a dude who drove on lava

He wanted 'hot wheels'

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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People say lava is just rock.

I think it's molten that.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drkaczur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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There have been a lot of stories about volcanic eruptions and lava flows in the news lately...

They're so hot right now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Verisai
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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Lava Lamp

My friend told me her Lava Lamp wasn't working and asked me to fix it. I tried and told her it didn't lava her or me. Needless to say, she threw me the death glare

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3RMANT3XAN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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"Did you know that humans can swallow hot lava?"

"Only once though."

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/messenger_boy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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Did you hear about the St Vincent volcano?

It was a big ash explosion

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksonDirk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I wonder if Anakin Skywalker was a big fan of Elvin Bishop

'cause he Fooled Around and Fell in Lava

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clambake42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I present to you...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djnipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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I saw a hipster rock today.

It said it was lava before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vidarino
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I cheated on my wife at the magma convention...

I got caught up in the thrill of a lava fair.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk80Boi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did the volcano say to his wife?

I lava you

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holysitkit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What's red and bad for your teeth ?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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6 year old daughter's dad joke

We're watching "The Floor is Lava." One of the contestants is swinging across some bars.

She says, "she must have played on the monkey bars at school when she was a kid."

I say, "a lot of people did. I did."

She says "I played on them when I was a kid too."

That would be earlier today then.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seanfish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Burned my Hawaiian pizza today

I should've cooked it on aloha temperature.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/japiev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What did the dad volcano say to his son?

I lava you

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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How do volcanos feel about jokes?

They LAVA good joke!

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snel6424
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Why is justice served cold is justice served better?

It's because if justice served warm would be Just-water

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Why doesn't anyone want to be friends with a volcano?

Volcanoes are massive ashholes.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TXBarbarian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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What's a Volcano's favorite dessert?

BakLava

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dante_Elephante
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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Bald Eagles for sale.

I have 4 Goodyear tires with almost no tread. Make offer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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Where do volcanoes go to the bathroom

The lava-tory

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueCP5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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What did the volcano say to his girlfriend?

I lava you and think you're so hot

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exos_VII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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What’s a Frenchman’s favorite part of a volcano?

The oh la la lava!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eliza_Swain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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Got my friends in science today

We were talking about volcanoes, so I said:

We should name a volcano Bach. Then, we could have Bach lava.

I'm pretty proud of that one.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainQWO
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
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I dad-joked in /r/bitchimabus

> johnmal85

> Is there a subreddit with pictures of stuff in lava or hardened like this?

> > memorizemee

>> I'd try r/lava, but its pretty much dead.

> > > confluencer

> > > So are you telling me that /r/lava has cooled down?

> > > > memorizemee

> > > > God damn it...

Sauce: http://np.reddit.com/r/bitchimabus/comments/2ctipf/bitch_i_have_been_consumed_by_molten_rock/cjiwrjy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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What did the volcano say to his wife?

I lava you

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer-Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Where do volcanoes go to the bathroom?

In the lava-tory.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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Where do volcanoes go to the bathroom?

At the lava-tory.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
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