Juba II Puns

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juba_II

Wikipedia says he wrote several books, including one about Roman archeology and a guide to Arabia. I can't find either anywhere though. Are there copies that are accessible?

The Bandung Pact has decided that the time has come to take a hard line on the Sokoto issue. Additional forces will be deployed to prepare for the siege of Sokoto.

The United African Army will deploy the 7th Urban Assault Army and 10th Combined Arms Army to Abuja and N'Djamena, respectively. The 6th Combined Arms Army will take over the border defense posting at Khartoum from the 7th Army as it is deployed to Kaabu, with 1st Guards Tank Army in Addis Ababa and 8th Air Assault Army in Juba available as quick reaction elements. These deployments will be in addition to present siege deployments.

Additional aircraft assets will be deployed. UAAF Tchagra hypersonic interceptors will be "forward" deployed to airbases in Uganda state and the former CAR, from which they can intercept hostile aircraft crossing the border in under 45 minutes. Nusantaran Tempest fighters, 196 in total, will be deployed to a variety of airbases in southern Kaabu and northern Cuanza from which they will establish a quick reaction alert patrol supported by the interceptors further back, bringing the total deployment up to:

The bulk of the deployment, however, will be pro

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

CLASSIFIED: Strategic Assessment

m: rare youtube vibe ftw

The EAF, a largely unprofessional army in its current state, is rapidly modernizing and establishing several “Strike Forces” that are quickly catching up to that of the ADIR. The EAF had previously invaded the ADIR without provocation, and has consistently labelled us a “radical pan-arabist” force that they view as inherently threatening. Fearing that they may lose Sudan, the EAF has opposed the ADIR at every step, despite open overtures towards them seeking cordial relations and African Unity. Continuously engaging in covert operations against the Arab League, consorting with our enemies, and colluding with hostile forces, the EAF remains a major threat to the ADIR and their words do not reflect their actions.

The geopolitical situation leaves the EAF with a neutered EU navy, a weakened 3AR who’s navy is roughly on par with the ADIR’s and is threatened by Japan and Germany, and an INC and Russia with good relations with the ADIR.. The EAF thus finds itself diplomatically isolated and scrambling to keep the situation calm while it builds up its forces. Projects such as the Hadaba Ibis, and the expansion of the EAF strike force are the mainstay of the EAF, which seeks to monopolize the Red Sea in order to preserve its own security at our own expense. Coveting Egypt, and consistently fearing that their tenuous hold on Sudan would falter, they continue to posture against the ADIR under the pretext that its allies in Germany and Japan are the real objective.

The recent withdrawal of the strike force from the Khartoum is viewed as nothing more than a ruse to buy time while the strike forces train, and space-based weapons proliferate. The 30,000 men remaining in Sudan remain extremely weak compared to the 500,000 (300,000 regulars plus 200,000 elites) men the ADIR has in theatre, and a situation like this will never present itself to us again. The moment the strike forces are operational, some 200,000 men will find their way into Egypt, with very little notice striking should the ADIR find itself in yet another Israel-esque scenario elsewhere. Programs such as the Hadaba Ibis threaten the ADIR by allowing the EAF to strike closer to the Maghrebi core, attempting to establish a sort of MAD in the event of a conflict given the ADIR’s own long range

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

The ADIR has launched an unprovoked attack on the East African Federation at a moment of great weakness. Our main armies lay in the south, days or weeks away, and yet the imperialist bootlickers have the audacity to claim they feared an attack from us. We may have been caught out of position, but the invaders’ hubris and double-dealing will be their undoing. They expect to be greeted as heroes, but they will receive a much colder welcome. The citizens of the EAF know the calling cards of the imperialist, and they have been provided with the tools to make them bleed. The poisonous call of the nationalist conqueror, the siren song of “ethnic unity,” will be seen through as the lies they are. We will make the would-be conqueror bleed for every inch of sand, until the Nile runs red.

^vibe

##OPERATION MEKELE

The imperialist dogs have launched three primary thrusts against the EAF, one shock army and two field armies aimed at Khartoum, one shock army and one regular army aimed at Port Sudan, and a division-strength amphibious assault on Somalia. Blocking these advances will be the primary objective of Operation Mekele. Unfortunately, forces opposing these advances are weak; currently active forces on the borderline total to only the 9th Army Corps in Khartoum, and the 3rd Strike Corps in Djibouti City, with both Motorized Cavalry Brigades available as quick reaction elements. Reinforcements are en route from the 1st, 5th, and 6th Strike Corps and 12 additional line corps from across the Federation, but overwhelming enemy air power will make force movements difficult. The primary objective, therefore, is to hold the line. This far, and no further.

###Weathering the Storm

The first hurdle that must be overcome to preserve the Federation is weathering the Arabs’ cowardly alpha strike. Fortunately, their magazines are still exhausted from the Mediterranean conflict; as a result, they have only been able to mass 700 useful cruise missiles, while the remainder are inaccurate Iranian Scud knockoffs that are expected to be highly inaccurate at extreme range. The ADIR plans to employ the absolutely colossal Buraq missile, a Mach 8 hypersonic with 800 kilometers of range and carried two to a plane at that, and the even bigger Khanjar, an ALBM with 2,000 kilometers of range, against targets so deep within the EAF that their air forces will be forced to strike far into our defenses. Not only that, these mi

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.