Heads and Shoulders.
So he could greet you with a handshake.
Usain Bolt
Knock-knock.
>!Who's there?!<
Edit: my son told me this. I was confused at why I had to start it and then cracked up when he said βwhoβs there?β
Vlad the impala.
Jeffrey Dahmer: shuts off blender βAww...β
I guess they were Episcopaliens.
Me: "Can you take a look at Jeffrey's eye? I think he has cataracts."
Dad: "Of course he does. Would you expect him to have dogaracts?"
Will: Make me a sandwich
Jeffrey puts a slice of bread on Will's head
Jeffrey: There, you're a sandwich.
There once was a golfer named Jefferson Handy. He was a decent golfer, even better considering that he was unable to stand for more than a few minutes without intense pain. Due to his affliction, Jeffrey was always spotted a few strokes on the course. Anyway, Jeffrey was always known for a smile on his face and his cabby hat he wore for good luck. One day, while on the 7th green, a lady appeared from one of the water traps and told him she would grant him any wish, but at a price. He said sure, and asked to be able to stand again. She granted him his wish, but for payment, she took his hat. And that's the story of the lost Handy Cap.
> I want to apologize to everyone today. These terrible jokes have been coming to me all morning and I can't turn it off.
