The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"

The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his lip during an intense workout?

I'm Thor.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Got my gf good with this one just now... I showed her a picture of the Mexico City skyline and she said, "that's intense!"

I said no, I'm pretty sure they're all buildings.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....

I'm no longer covered.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The sexual tension is so intense it could cut through steal.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatincomingvirus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was intents

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffeeti
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Do want to know what's intense?

Camping... It's in tents...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albus_Veritas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was in tents. (Intense)

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpookyCatMischief
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
This is intense.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adrianorivera
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an intense fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tardtart
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What's mostly intense?

Sleeping bags.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StripedTiger711
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was a police officer I used to take suspects camping.

I was fired for my intense interrogations.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spallboy
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I spent a long time searching for high intensity workout gear.

I must have bought the right clothes, even my tracksuit pants.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This pun is intense.
πŸ‘︎ 284
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you ever had sex while camping? It’s fucking intense
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddy_drake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Having sex while camping... it’s fucking intense

Old joke. Maybe fits here. First post. Thanks

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmicjoke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the riot at the circus?

The fighting was intense.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentJoe1986
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Want to hear something intense?

Boyscouts

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GearSlut26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
An American is working out

β€œThis workout is intense!” He huffs to his friend. β€œMy heart is pounding!”

β€œHuh?” Says the friend.

β€œOh, sorry, I forgot you’re European. My heart is β€˜kilogramming’.” He replies.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCVisNih
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I had to avoid intense activities due to my heart condition.

Now I have to quit my job at the circus and cancel my camping trip.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I mentioned intense circle jerk Tuesdays and beans earlier
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaginakween68
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the most intense outdoor activity is?

Camping.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the campers say after the fireworks went haywire?

That was intense

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryman19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Campings intense.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SindySinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the summer camp for aspiring models? They’re hiring counselors for next year, but it’s not for everyone.

The camp goers are pretty intense.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xilshin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A truck driver drives during an intense winter strom

The truck driver comes to a stop. The woman in the car behind him gets out of her car and knocks on the truck driver's window:

"Excuse me sir, you are losing your load!"

The truck driver is confused and continues his path until the next stop. The woman knocks on his window again.

"Excuse me sir, you are losing your load!"

The truck driver is even more confused and continues to drive. At the next stop, the woman comes to knock again on his window.

"Excuse me sir, you are losing your load!"

The truck driver gets angry and says:

"Would you please shut up! I'm putting salt on the road!"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomGuyNumber1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Some intense stuff on the news today. There was a kidnapping at the local school!

It was all good they woke him up an hour later.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackthecricketer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what’s really intense?

Campers

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard Steve Harvey and his wife got into an intense argument

It was a real Family Feud

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyGuyE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night's storm was so intense that it was histormical
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runaway_boomerang
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Bored at church, I took off my shoes and started to stare intensely at them.

Wife: What on earth are you doing?

Me: I think I’ve some problems with my inner sole.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Doctor, I haven’t told anyone this yet but I’m having some intense chest pains

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
*Anytime someone says the word β€œintense”

Just like camping.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thundermifflan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Lately, my wife has been getting on my case and saying that I’m being β€œintense”

So, naturally, my only response has been to adopt a pitiful look and steeple my hands above my head until she rolls her eyes and walks off!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkyd34
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his tongue during an intense weight-lifting session?

Man, I'm thor.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was intense

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesuscide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the God of Thunder feel after a particularly intense workout?

Thor.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what's intense?

Campers.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyMoist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report

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