I bought an imitation diamond engagement ring to propose to my Irish girlfriend on St Patrick's day. I just hope she doesn't notice..

..the sham rock.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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OC - I am not great at imitation in drawing, though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeeveryoneup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.

Now I want my Nickelback.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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What do imitation and plateaus have in common?

They’re both the highest forms of flattery

From my friend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unluckybeaver
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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How is imitation like a plateau?

They're both the highest form of flattery!

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JOEYSARMY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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Imitation stone counter tops are great...

...although I find most people take it for granite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EntenEller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2013
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Why did the person with sensitive hearing not like the imitation crow?

Because it sounded like a "Caw Caw Phony".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardwareweenie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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I saw an albino impressionist today...

.. but he was a pale imitation of the real thing.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Why do passarines like to imitate others so much...?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrophin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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My buddy opened a tavern for basketball players, and there are already imitators.

Good thing he set the bar so high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MistaSnowman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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My friend told me to stop imitating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropLeMic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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I did Nazi a Nazi pun
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bacon_con
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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What do you call a potato that copies all the other potatoes?

An imitator

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpj71
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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I'm a teacher and I like to do superhero impressions before class to put students in a good mood.

The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:

"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"

"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled

"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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A recent study in America asked people their preferred butter

48% of Americans chose real butter, whilst the other 51% opted for a substitute.

The study concluded that imitations are only margarineally butter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_wild_redditer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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I can’t believe it’s not butter

Every once in a while I buy the wrong kind of imitation butter at the grocery store. It’s ok though. It’s still within my margarine of error

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dulse_eater
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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Brain Sucker

I learned this from an old girlfriend's dad when he did it to her little sister.

Dad: Puts his hand on top of kid's head and squeezes to imitate a rhythmic suction. Then he says "You know what this is?"

Kid: "No what?"

Dad: "It's a brain sucker, you know what it's doing?"

Kid: "Sucking my brain."

Dad: "Nope! It's starving!"

This one gets me every time!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beat1706
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
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How do you catch a rabbit?

By imitating the sound of a carrot πŸ₯•

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imad_harb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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I saw a fake bucket the other day

It was a pail imitation!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ac3inthehole
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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A man walks into prison and is greeted by the warden.

"So you're the new imitate, huh?" "Don't you mean inmate?" "Wah, wah, don't you mean inmate wah wah"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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German Teacher

Dad told me this one:

A German teacher was having one of his students imitate various objects. He would say car and he would say "vrooom" or sink and he would say "Fsssss" then finally he asks him to imitate a clock and so the student says "tic, tic, tic, tic." And his teachers face moves to an eerie smile and he says, "We have ways of making you toc."

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunchingBob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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First joke as a dad

My wife gave birth yesterday. As we were settling into the recovery room, the nurse came in and the baby started to cry. She tried to console him and said to us:

Nurse: He's really just yelling at you saying "Do you know what I've been through today?!"

Me (imitating my wife): Yeah, me!

She was too tired to groan, but I think I'm gonna like this.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattityahu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2014
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It was when my wife told me to stop imitating a flamingo...

... that I decided to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurricane_07
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
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