My friend David lost his ID today

Now I call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 96
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Crown92royal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two women were sharing the same ID card

Sharon is Karen

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MomsSpoghetti
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected

It was worth a shot.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/inTRONet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend Sid has had his ID stolen...

He's now known as 'S'

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Theres 3.3 million people in here so I figured id go ahead and post that im looking for one night stand.

Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kriskidd21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Someone stole my friend David's ID

So now he's just Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 94
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bennyhana_911
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My buddy David has his ID stolen

Now heโ€™s just Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MissouriFred
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I once saw two men quarreling because both claimed that his family name is Fuck and the other is lying. After seeing their IDs, I found out that only one man was telling the truth, the one with the first name What.

What, the actual Fuck.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sodrohu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just heard a grocery store manager telling off a young guy on the checkout. โ€œWhyโ€™d you ask that woman with kids for ID? What was she buying?โ€

โ€œCardamomโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aphex-Puddle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the prospector get a fake id?

The bar doesn't serve minors.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/clark_creationz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whoever stole my Microsoft office account ID, I will find you.

You have my Word.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 57
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Willow-wolliW
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So if I set up touch ID on my phone for the same finger on both hands

Does that make it ambitextrous?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aesterian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID...

Now he is no longer instinctual, with only his super-ego left. Is this a psycho-babble joke? Yes, I'm a-Freud so.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Looks like thay have COLLAR ID
๐Ÿ‘︎ 40
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/trishmckinley602
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID!!!

He became a nicer man, in fact much nicer, since his super-ego and ego took over.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Phone rings.......Dad: What does the Caller ID say?......Son: It says Private Caller......

Dad: Don't answer it. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 227
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2donutkid2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Reading maps is such a pain in the ass, but id be lost with out it
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/averagepenisman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Kid looks at moms ID Card

Sex: F

Kid starts laughing, mom asks what happened?

Kid says: were you really so bad at sex you got and F?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UkuSw0w
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whenever I'm feeling down, I read my blood donor ID

It says B positive

๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jimingot_yesjams
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a thought that costs money?

An idEA

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/herbieismyhamster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Someone stole my IDs.

That iot!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lum1nar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There is always something going wrong on the top floor of my house.

Id say its a problem-attic

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iamchrisp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Thought id beat him to post it here
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/crazypyros
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID,

Now we call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TechX5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID during a trip.

Now we all call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChekovsCurlyHair
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My mate David had his ID stolen...

... I now call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gbuckingham89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My buddy David had his ID stolen.

I now call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 78
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID.

Now heโ€™s just Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ObiWanToasty
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David had his ID stolen.

Now we just call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID...

Now heโ€™s just Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his id.

We now call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/johnreese421
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 95
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My uncle David just lost his wallet and phone and ID.

Heโ€™s just Dav now

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/qmechan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So if I set up touch ID on my phone for the same finger on both hands

Does it make it ambitextrous?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aesterian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My mate David has his ID stolen

Now we call him Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pig-gy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID...

Now I call him Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 71
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VerboseLeader
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David had his ID stolen

Now he's just Dave

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stevenplaysmcpeyt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David had is ID stolen

Now heโ€™s just Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TakenByKangAndKodos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
David lost his ID...

Heโ€™s Dav now.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SillyKnights
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID...

Now he's just Dav

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jennifer_stinger
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David just lost his ID.

Now he's just Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/norrisrw
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Your uncle David just lost his ID

Now you can call him uncle Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 91
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nevarc_Xela
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"Hi my name is David and i lost my ID...

... I guess you can call me Dav now."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yalam_boi
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you head that David got his ID stolen ?

We have to call him Dav now .

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Messicanhero
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My name is David, and I just lost my ID somewhere.

So now I'm just Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pluckish
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend David lost his ID

Now he's just Dav.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.