If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
......and the second one Duplikate.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
MY GIRLFRIENDS DOG DIED SO I GOT HER AN IDENTICAL ONE
SHE WAS LIVID AND SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH TWO DEAD DOGS !
Current status.. single
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
When I was little my mom told me I could be anything I want to be...
Turns out identity theft is a crime.
I think I have found the identity of "The Man". It's gravity.
It's always trying to keep me down.
My dentist looks like my eye doctor
Mickey Mouse arrested for identity theft
He was charged with being Goofy
I sat next to a guy that looked identical to me.
The true identity of the mummy was...
What do you call two boobs that are identical?
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
Did you hear about the Italian who committed identity theft?
Police say he was an impasta
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
If you are taking a calculus exam, don’t sit between two identical twins.
It’s very difficult to differentiate between them.
It's been a lifelong dream of mine to live in a house with my own clone. But the science has just come out that most people would hate dealing with someone identical to them.
I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.
Hi, I’m an identity thief
My pronouns are you/yours
I repetitively hit my identical twin.
So I asked him, "why are you hitting yourself?"
My wife just gave birth to a set of identical twins. She named the first one Pete.
I named the second one Repeat.
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isn’t easy to tell them a part.
I kept cutting my sausage into smaller and smaller identical pieces.
My best friend couldn’t come out to the pub with me tonight so his identical twin came instead.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
....and the second one Duplikate.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
........and the second one DupliKate.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?
My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one
She was mad, “What am I going to do with 2 dead dogs??”
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
From my daughter (so proud)
When I was young I was told I could be anyone I wanted. Turns out identity theft is a crime.
When taking a calculus exam, make sure you don’t sit between identical twins.
Because it’s hard to differentiate between them.
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.
I couldn’t differentiate between them.
When I was a kid my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted
Turns out identity theft is a crime
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