π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 18 2016
The Newbourne Identity.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 28 2021
Identity matrix goes for a job interview. The interviewer says your great but Iβm worried about how far away you live?
Thatβs okay, I always commute.
Whereβs my Maths Nerds at?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 13 2021
Asked my cat if she was having an identity crisis.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 14 2021
Which bean is most likely to have an identity crisis?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 03 2021
Why does 1 = 0 ?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 26 2021
Jason Bourne finds Jesus in yet another sequel to Bourne Identity
π︎ 213
π
︎ Aug 16 2021
Today I reveal to you, Nitos secret identity... Incocknito
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 29 2021
I was once asked if I wanted to hear a joke about Identity
I said Nah, ID rather not.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 14 2021
They've discovered a breed of oxen that is genetically identical from one generation to the next, each one an almost exact copy of the one that came before except for some slight degradation.
π︎ 90
π
︎ Jul 10 2021
My friend and I wear identical shoes...trust me we're...
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 07 2021
The rabbit asked the beach that had identity dysphoria how it's day was going
the beach said it wasn't shore.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2021
Maria gave birth to identical twins, named Amal, and Juan. She only carries one photo.
Because once you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
π︎ 92
π
︎ May 30 2021
I had two friends when growing up who were identical twins - Emall and Juan.
If you have seen Juan you have seen Emall !
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 19 2021
My gender identity is chocolateβ¦
My preferred pro-nouns are her-sheyβ¦
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 24 2021
I had identical twin daughters. I named one called Kate...
And the other? DupliKate.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Never take a calculus exam when you are sitting next to two identical twins.
Itβs really hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
Everyone knows Albert Einstein was a genius. But his brother Frank...
was a victim of identity theft.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 30 2021
I'm new to expressing my gender identity
I only have amateur-nouns.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Newbourne Identity.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
How does a food critic keep their identity a secret?
They use a Nom Nom Nom de Plum
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
A wealthy man cloned himself
The clone was identical EXCEPT he swore like a bad comedian. So, the wealthy man pushed the clone off a cliff.
The police charged him with making an obscene clone fall.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 03 2021
When I was a child, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be...
As it turns out, identity theft is illegal.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 09 2021
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?
π︎ 117
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call two boobs that are identical?
π︎ 969
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isnβt easy to tell them a part.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
My wife just gave birth to a set of identical twins. She named the first one Pete.
I named the second one Repeat.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 29 2019
What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I sat next to a guy that looked identical to me.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
I think I have found the identity of "The Man". It's gravity.
It's always trying to keep me down.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Mickey Mouse arrested for identity theft
He was charged with being Goofy
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Sectional identity
π︎ 70
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one
She was mad, βWhat am I going to do with 2 dead dogs??β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
When taking a calculus exam, make sure you donβt sit between identical twins.
Because itβs hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
How can you tell if a lumberjack is lousy?
He has a lot of axe-idents.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
π︎ 243
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if youβve seen Juan youβve seen Amal
π︎ 337
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
When I was a kid, my dad told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 12 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
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