Need Help Identifying a Dad Joke
When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.
I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!
Cop: do you mind identifying the body? I must warn you it ispretty hacked up!
Me [tearing up]: yes, that’s my brother Reese.
Cop: are you sure?
Me: yes I’m sure, those are Reese’s pieces.
I wrote an article on identifying asbestos and got my worst rating ever.
I mean, I did asbestos I can.
My therapist told me that I have trouble identifying my emotions.
Not too sure how I feel about that.
I always have a difficult time identifying birds
Especially when they're in de-skies
A new study came out identifying where watermelons get their color from..
Thought I was great at identifying my car, until I got in the wrong Kia
I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.
Do you know why I can identify with TV Guide?
I used to feel important but now i just have very poor circulation
Ive painstakingly identified the 4 Horsemen Of The Apocolypse
- Toast Malone
- Vladimir Gluten
- Elon Crust
- Bread Sheeran
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
What gender does a quantum computer identify as?
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson
My personal pronouns are He/Hee
Why are birds so hard to identify?
Because they are always in da sky’s.
I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
What do you call it when someone who identifies as the opposite gender does something
What is it called when you can’t identify a red bird?
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow
After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force
I guess that makes him a ForceKin
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
why can't you see the father of a person who identifies themself with a different gender than the one They're born with?
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.
Preferred pronouns are Her/she
How can you identify a dogwood tree?
How do you identify the gender of an ant?
If it sinks, it's a girl ant If it floats, it's buoyant.
Actually made me laugh gender fluid means you arent binary to one gender and transgender mean you do not identify as the gender assigned to you at birth
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
I can always identify people who have a hard time counting to 10.
They are usually ahead of me in the express lane at the grocery store.
I’ve started growing herbs in my garden. To help identify them i’m growing them in alphabetical order. My neighbour asked me, how you find the time. I said, easy, it’s right here next to the sage.
My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
I decided to self-identify as deodorant
Before you ask. Yes, Yes I am sure
What do you call an experienced farmer?
My father identifies as a woman, but he never told me about it
He wasn't being very trans parent.
Why couldn't the elk be identified?
Because it was anonymoose
People who identify as hay can now get married.
They just have to find a bale bondsman.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
I want to talk to you guys about how I would really like to identify as a type of writing font
I identify as a male goose
I guess that makes me transgander.
I bet my friend I could identify any bird. He pointed to one and said, "What about that?"
I told him, "Yup,definitely a bird."
Went for a walk with my kid and he picked up a rock, asking me "what kind of rock it is."
I identified it as Leaverite.
As in "put that rock down and leaverite there!"
Did you hear about the collection of related network web resources identified with a common domain name that has nothing but quotes and their authors?
My Friend Told Me He Identifies As A Broadcasting Radio Station
I told him “You can’t be Sirius”
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson
My preferred pronouns are He/Hee
My son identifies as a crescent moon.
I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson.
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.
I now identify as a can of deodorant
And before you ask...
Yes, I'm Sure
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