Need Help Identifying a Dad Joke

When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.

I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fleurreddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Cop: do you mind identifying the body? I must warn you it ispretty hacked up!

Me [tearing up]: yes, that’s my brother Reese. Cop: are you sure? Me: yes I’m sure, those are Reese’s pieces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKrabs7382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I wrote an article on identifying asbestos and got my worst rating ever.

I mean, I did asbestos I can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yung_gran
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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My therapist told me that I have trouble identifying my emotions.

Not too sure how I feel about that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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I always have a difficult time identifying birds

Especially when they're in de-skies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_B_Brain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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A new study came out identifying where watermelons get their color from..

Watermelanin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josephkristian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Thought I was great at identifying my car, until I got in the wrong Kia

Turns out, not my Forte

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youngblood519
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2017
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I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.

It's a gift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Ant Gender Identifier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanexe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Do you know why I can identify with TV Guide?

I used to feel important but now i just have very poor circulation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JunkCrap247
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Ive painstakingly identified the 4 Horsemen Of The Apocolypse
  1. Toast Malone
  2. Vladimir Gluten
  3. Elon Crust
  4. Bread Sheeran
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...

Sometimes they take this schist for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What gender does a quantum computer identify as?

Non-binary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_kibble
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I sexually identify as Michael Jackson

My personal pronouns are He/Hee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoitsdavid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Why are birds so hard to identify?

Because they are always in da sky’s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imsorrybatman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...

...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What do you call it when someone who identifies as the opposite gender does something

A TRANS-ACTION

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Painogoldfish72
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What is it called when you can’t identify a red bird?

A cardinal sin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesewithbeans
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow

I was like 'bye-son'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnfeteredOne
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force

I guess that makes him a ForceKin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVengefulKitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bladingbeckie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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why can't you see the father of a person who identifies themself with a different gender than the one They're born with?

he's transparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aggeliki04
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.

Preferred pronouns are Her/she

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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How can you identify a dogwood tree?

By its bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahhyeaaa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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IDENTIFIED: the original source of novel coronavirus imgur.com/AkNQTp2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l2np
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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How do you identify the gender of an ant?

If it sinks, it's a girl ant If it floats, it's buoyant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avigyan_33
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Actually made me laugh gender fluid means you arent binary to one gender and transgender mean you do not identify as the gender assigned to you at birth
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noobs_rule3n
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I can always identify people who have a hard time counting to 10.

They are usually ahead of me in the express lane at the grocery store.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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An interesting title
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I’ve started growing herbs in my garden. To help identify them i’m growing them in alphabetical order. My neighbour asked me, how you find the time. I said, easy, it’s right here next to the sage.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcleodpirate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olafminesaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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I decided to self-identify as deodorant

Before you ask. Yes, Yes I am sure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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What do you call an experienced farmer?

Argicultured.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cherry-kid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My father identifies as a woman, but he never told me about it

He wasn't being very trans parent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatTave
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Why couldn't the elk be identified?

Because it was anonymoose

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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People who identify as hay can now get married.

They just have to find a bale bondsman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wingerd33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief

It was stainless steel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maiemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I want to talk to you guys about how I would really like to identify as a type of writing font

If I may be so bold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ams2431
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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I identify as a male goose

I guess that makes me transgander.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I bet my friend I could identify any bird. He pointed to one and said, "What about that?"

I told him, "Yup,definitely a bird."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Went for a walk with my kid and he picked up a rock, asking me "what kind of rock it is."

I identified it as Leaverite.

As in "put that rock down and leaverite there!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Surabar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Did you hear about the collection of related network web resources identified with a common domain name that has nothing but quotes and their authors?

It's a web-cite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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My Friend Told Me He Identifies As A Broadcasting Radio Station

I told him β€œYou can’t be Sirius”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peperule34
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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I sexually identify as Michael Jackson

My preferred pronouns are He/Hee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous-Ballon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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My son identifies as a crescent moon.

I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I sexually identify as Michael Jackson.

My pronouns are He/Hee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/West_Yorkshire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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I now identify as a can of deodorant

And before you ask...

Yes, I'm Sure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeymikespeirs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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