Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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This sub is going downhill
πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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In the spirit of sharing our kids attempts at dad jokes,

My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:

Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.

I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.

Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnionShanty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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My French friend borrowed 1,000 gallons of water from me...

He wrote me an IO eau.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Patient: I broke my leg in three places...

Doctor: then don’t go to those places

source:

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dkh1638
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Did you hear about the dad that brought his doctor a stool sample?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortBusRadio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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I hate myself...

My sister is watching this show called "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" and I just overheard her reference a joke they made.

It went something like this:

"I thought you were in Iowa"

"Iowas, but now I'm back"

I want to watch this show.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilanoCookiez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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[Meta] A survey about dad jokes

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc5GCRPiUXFzxgaJi5xIoDxiJ6LOJOvcyJ3bWXxXgJBWsWCOw/viewform?usp=sf_link

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offlebagg1ns
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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In which state does Waluigi live?

In Io-Wah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicoOrfa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Whats an italian car mechanic's favorite food?

Car-patch-io

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaBarrelBoss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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What kind of nut pees onto his own facial hair?

A piss-stache-io.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowhatb
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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(Request) Need a good pun name for a YouTube show.

Greeting punny people, I require your services to name an upcoming show on my YouTube channel.

The show will be about my first impressions on indie games that have been provided to me by developers. I need a humorous name that includes the word "indie" somehow.

Example: I have another show where I cover games over on Itch.io that I call "Scratching The Itch.io".

Thou shalt be credited for the name during the first episode.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patty-Jack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2017
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The content around this sub has been dry recently

https://us-east-1.tchyn.io/snopes-production/uploads/2016/01/abandoned-sub.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naht_a_cop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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Not an express pun, but great pun- based game.

It's called Punfound, on android and ios. Check it out!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graybush333
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
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Something interesting

On the iOS Reddit app it says to Post something interesting. Just doing as I am told.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_have_my_doubts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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My brother got me good

Bro: I don't know why they call it the stare-io, I always just listen to it.

Me: audible groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteveTheMormon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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Dad told me one earlier: "What happens when my friend S gives me Β£7?

Ios 7.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoobuFestuu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Parry
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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ation.

https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/ap9gqf/i_have_a_phd_in_procrastin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hstpeace
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I’ve invented a word to explain this joke
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robrodcopp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Breathtaking

https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/c1exo1/technically_keanu_reeves_was_correct_we_all_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

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πŸ‘€︎ u/94mikelopez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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I made a post earlier asking when a dad joke becomes a dad joke. The answer was β€œWhen it has a child.”

Link to post

But really, the truth is that it’s all in the delivery.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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My wife bet me I couldn’t make a good joke on this thread
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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