Ios Puns

But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.

It’s Siri S. Lee. Seriously.

My thoughts are with his family.

I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

IO IO U.

In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot

https://imgshare.io/images/2021/03/26/8AC502A7-A271-4105-A89D-2D2085A7D757.jpg

A pic for anyone who wants to see it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/lum6ev/so_if_this_is_broken_would_it_now_be_a_cant_opener/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:

https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/

Toot-in-common.

It’s a wife or deaf situation

Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://i.imgur.com/CJaxoIO.jpg

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

Because it's the most punderful time of the year!

Link to calendar for those who want it: https://pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_AdventCalendar2020pdf.pdf

It's always bringing everyone down

It was in tents.

Isle weight.

For His-panic attacks.

Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:

"Just looking around..."

A poultry-geist

My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:

Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.

I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.

Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am

...does that make you an iWitness?

Just remove the handle

Lovely bloke, but a terrible bank manager

Brochure.

http://i.imgur.com/kekwP1L.jpg

Because their head is really far away.

IO IO U.

We will never know!

https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/ap9gqf/i_have_a_phd_in_procrastin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

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