Just looks like they’re hounding the bitch to me πŸ˜‚
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaSuperior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I told my wife we couldn't get a hound like she wanted because I couldn't watch Shakespeare.

I'm worried he would think to bay or not to bay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1_good_dad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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What insect do hound-dog hate

Mosquitooooooww

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJPokemon
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I don't understand how Elvis got so fat....

He ate nothing but a hound dog.

Thank you, thank you very much.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My weiner dog is so lazy...

Not much dash in that hound

Credit u/themayanacockandlips on r/aww

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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The paparazzi won't stop hounding me i.reddituploads.com/4e316…
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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I hear hound dogs are very frugal...

They track all their scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enderfiend
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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Smart Cactus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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What kind of dog do authors get?

Plott hound.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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If you get a dachshund for badgers, a beagle for rabbits, and a lab for ducks, what kind of dog do you get for play?

A plott hound

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I asked the barber to cut my hair like elvis

He swung his hips, sang hound dog, and shaved it all off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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I wish I had more time to work the animal shelter

They keep hounding me to come back in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxIIU2IIxX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
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I got the DNA test results back for my two adopted dogs...

I told my dad that one of the dogs is a purebred plott hound.

Dad says, "So if she gains weight, then the plott thickens."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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Was watching a movie on my phone

There was a dog barking in the movie, and a neighbors dog was barking at the same time. My girlfriend points this out and I turn to her with the biggest "this is my chance grin" and told her that it's just my surround hound system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaneLeezy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
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A short story

John Deavensmit was not having a good time. After an incident involving a coffee spill, he'd been sued for $50 million, and somehow the jury had ruled against him. There was no way he could pay that much money; he'd go bankrupt.

Naturally, he filed for an appeal, but the winner of the case was already beginning to hound him for money, hoping to get at least something before the judgement was overturned. John was nearly at his wit's end before he found an unusual package in his mailbox.

It was from a couple of his friends, who all went on to law school when John left to create a startup. They'd all been very successful, and had gone on to be justices at various levels, from courts in a small county in Wisconsin all the way to the Supreme Court. When he opened it up, he was surprised to see an ink drawing of a thick wooden stick. It was signed by his friends, and accompanied by a note:

> Hey John, > > We're sorry to hear about your loss in court last month. We met up at a judge conference in the Davison Center, and we thought that we'd do something special for you. We met up in the Grapefruit Room and all worked together to draw this. We hope you enjoy it! > > Your friends

Now, John had been to D.C. a few times, and knew about the Davison Centre. It was renowned for its very offbeat architecture. The Grapefruit Room was one of the weirdest: it had been constructed by taking a world-record grapefruit, carving out the flesh, and preserving the rind. The result was a walk-in fruit, and it always smelled of citrus.

It took John a while to work out the significance of the gift, but when he realized it, he was overjoyed. His good friends had seen fit to grant him a stave judge-men penned in a peel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scshunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2012
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Dad Joked by a Thomas Jefferson Impersonator at Work Today

Would this be considered a dad joke or an 18/19th century dad joke? Either way, I just about walked out the building after reading this.

ME: Hi Tom,

Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today and if there is anything we can do in the future, please don't hesitate to ask.

I was hoping you would be able to leave a Yelp review for other potential clients to see. I know that we will not be working together anymore, but we would really appreciate the feedback.

Thomas Jefferson: Matt,

Happy to offer you an encomium, however, I know of no connection between hounds striking the line of scent on a fox and complimenting a business enterprise of the 21st century.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smashfield5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2016
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Cheat sheet for Dads on Halloween

What is a Vampire favorite fruit?

  • Neckterines

What kind of dogs do Vampires like best?

  • Blood hounds

How does a ghost cry?

  • Boo Hoo

What does a skeleton always say before he eats?

  • Bone Appetite

What kind of key should you always take to a haunted house?

  • Skeleton Key

Why do Vampires need mouthwash?

  • Because they have bat breath

What kinds of street do Zombies like?

  • Dead ends.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

  • Frost Bite

What did the black cat call the mouse on roller skates?

  • Meals on wheels

What does a vampire never at a restaurant?

  • A stake sandwich

What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?

  • It's a pain in the neck.

Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?

  • To give a Screech

What does a ghosts have for dessert?

  • I-Scream

What is a skeletons favorite instrument?

  • A trombone

What kind of dog does a mad scientist have?

  • A Lab

Be honest, how many did you get? What is your dad score?

EDIT: can't get spoiler tags to work...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnolaum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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I just got dad joked by my buddy...

My dog, a beagle, was trying to get comfortable in my chair.

I said to the dog: "dammit Blue you're bugging the hell out of me."

My buddy: "Would you say he is hounding ya?"

Commence groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glcorps2814
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
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Redditor dad joked in /r/aww

/r/mitchstanton > That dog is amazing with kids!

/r/jeffontiv17 > Wonder how much he charges per hour.

/r/crash7800 > Looks like quite a few times, but he's just funning. Won't really knock her over.

Link to comment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mantis_Pantis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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