What do you say when you are going to drunk dial someone?

Alco-hol you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What did the drunk say to his buddies as he left the bar?

AL-CO-HOL you later!!

(Stole this from a show dont come for me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whuddupmama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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You're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out. But do you know what you are while you're in there?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dani_dejong
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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What is God's favorite cheese?

Swiss, because it is so hol(e)y.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pstol
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
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What does Cheese and Church have in common?

It's hol(e)y & a great excuse for wine #cheesus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarelyControlled
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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Today I think I became my dad.

> Having holes drilled into house for insulation

> Standing outside with Dad watching workmen do their thing

"Is our house a church now?" I ask.

> Strange look from Dad and other workmen

"Seems like we have... hol(e)y walls!"

> Cue me standing there, grinning like I'm Jimmy Carr, Dad facepalming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCodeSmith
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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