Habitability Puns

Wonder what She's up to now..

Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.

Pulp fiction.

I guess he's just a little ruff around the edges.

Nunavut.

A Transistor

Goebbels the Gerbil Burglar

They didn't like it when I retaliated with...

"Daughturds"

It was nail-biting

I guess it was habit forming

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."

My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."

I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.

Father-in-law

Dad Awards

To truly capture the “Spirit of the Dad” what are some achievements you think make a True Dad?

1. “Fixed it!” - complete an entire home improvement project in a single trip to the hardware/lumber store.

2. “Gotcha!” - demonstrate the Dad Reflex by catching a toddler seconds before disaster.

3. “That’s my boy/girl!” - get in trouble with the SO when your son/daughter picked up a bad habit of yours, or develops your bad sense of humor/pranks.

4. “Here boy!” - develop a stronger bond with the new family pet than any of the kids who wanted it in the first place.

5. “Office time” - spend at least 30 minutes in the bathroom hiding from the kids/spouse even though you don’t actually have to go to the bathroom.

6. “Blame it on the dog” - make at least one passenger choke on a fart in the car.

7. “Really?” - have a kid/spouse completely buy in to one of your bad dad jokes. (I had my wife convinced for nearly an hour that the rumble strips on the side of the highway was called the “Brailleway” and it was for blind drivers)

8. “But the kids will love it!” - use the kids as justification to purchase something that you’ve always wanted.

9. “Try it, you’ll like it!” - introduce a kid into your hobby as an excuse to go out more often than the spouse would usually tolerate.

10. “Saved the day!” - prevent a meltdown by fixing the favorite toy that seemed completely destroyed.

11. “Animal surgeon” - conduct ‘surgery’ to patch up a favorite stuffed animal.

12. “Here, let me show you” - take over a video game under the guise of showing the kid how to play.

What else can you add to this list?

So that they don’t get into the habit.

My son hates it... he always likes to tell me “dad! Stop! Smoking causes cancer”... I’m always disappointed to inform him, “No son. Smoking causes ashes”

It's a really bad habit.

But I never got the chants.

I hate to see someone Anne employed.

I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.

Bad minton.

Nun-sense!

Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.

I probably shouldn't have become a tattoo artist.

"SHHH" "What - I'm just trying to ask a question!"

I'll read it tomorrow

All of them had dirty habits.

Her regrets - nun.

Let's hope she doesn't keep this habit.

It was just too time consuming

A Roamin' Catholic

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

It's a deeply rooted issue.

you can buy them from a boot sale at a convent.

Knock on wood.

Out of habit.

Yesterday he scaled Mount Everest.

He replied that he prays everyday religiously.

He claims he can stop it at any time.

Of not finishing the

Nunavut