I wrote 7 letters to the Governor yesterday.

I said, "Good job".

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor

This way the people can elect Ricity.

The campaign would be "Elect Rick".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I'm filming a new documentary about the governor of the Roman province of Judaea, serving under Emperor Tiberius...

We're currently filming the Pilate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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For the convict on death row waiting to hear back from the governor...

...no noose is good news.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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The governor banned gatherings of more than eighteen crows.

They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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So the governor in Arizona just signed a bill that legalizes nunchucks..

I guess that's something to shake a stick at.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daseined
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Wife was watching CNN...

She said she was watching Governor Cuomo hold a press conference.

I said "oh, yeah? Cuomo esta with him?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReksEffect
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Mom pulled this one on me today. Has she been a dad this whole time?

News: "Larry Hogan was sworn in today as the 62nd Governor of Maryland..."

Mom: "So he was only governor for one minute."

Such pun. Much groan. Wow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xmeggiex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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So they're opening a new sports stadium in Juneau

It's going to be named after the former governor of Alaska.

Noteworthy for being symmetrical; it'll look the same if you're walking across it from either end.

They're calling it the Palindrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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How to fight mosquitoes and crime

Some cities plan to fight mosquitoes by releasing swarms of sterile male mosquitoes, which don't bite, and can reduce future generations of mosquitoes. That's a good idea and I hope it works well.

The governor of Kentucky plans to fight crime by having prayer groups go to high-crime neighborhoods to pray there.

Those two ideas give me an idea for fighting crime even better: Release swarms of praying mantises.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khv90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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