Gouda cheese Puns

Great it.

...it completely Haloumi away!

Da brie is everywhere!

Debris was everywhere.

Apparently they want to make America grate again.

I told her if they forgot the cheese again, it wouldn’t end very Gouda for them!

He wants to make America grate again.

Me: “Boys, do you want Gouda cheese on your burgers?”

Husband: “Hurry up and answer your mom. Do you want Gouda cheese or bad cheese on your burger?”

For a Halloween party this year, I'm going as Cheesus Christ, the Gouda Shepherd.

That being said, I need to prepare an absolute onslaught of cheese related puns for maximum eye-rolls.

Give me your worst best, Reddit!

There was nothing left but de Brie

while holding a block of cheddar like a camera

Hey mom! Say cheese!

She then flashed her silly grin

Dad: Well, this is some gouda cheese!

Kid: No, dad, that's camembert.

(I just needed to share this.)

I was told my jokes were cheesy, but I think they're pretty Gouda.

I've been making dad jokes for years but my wife and I are expecting our first child and I've finally been making dad jokes while actually being a dad.

When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specifially made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and siad. "do you think they keep these at womb temperature?" I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes.

This is my legacy.

We were talking about cheeses and I said if you put havarti and gouda together on a grilled cheese it's so amazing.

A student said "havarti done it."

-A real conversation that happened like 5 minutes ago between my dad and I-

Me, eating a babybell cheese

My dad: “what’s that?”

Me: “cheese.”

My dad: “what kind of cheese?”

Me: “Gouda.”

...

...

...

My dad: “Is it Gouda? Or is it badda?”

Me being a cheese maker said: I already believe in Gouda

We had been cooking dinner, and my wife commented (after one too many comments about 'Gouda being gooda and Feta being Betta') that it seemed like most of my puns tend to be food puns.

So I drew her a diagram. I started with a huge circle to represent all of my puns. Inside that I drew a large circle filling about 90% of it.

"Those are my food puns."

I then drew another circle, this one about half the size of the food circle, with almost all of it inside the food circle.

"And these are my cheese puns."

My wife immediately called me out, pointing at the sliver that was outside of the food circle.

"Shouldn't this be fully inside the other circle?"

"No," I say, "Those puns are rare, but they tend to be cheesiest."

I work at a fondue restaurant and people usually love my dadjokes™ Please avoid "fundue"

And I already have the explosion at the cheese factory joke in my book :P where de Brie was everywhere.

While checking on the chicken in the oven, my wife asks me, "Why are you using a cheese knife to cut the chicken?" I tell her, "I thought it was Gouda-nough"

She hasn't talked to me in 10 minutes, plz send help Reddit

Dad: Why didn't you make me a grilled cheese too?

Me: I dunno. I didn't think you wanted one.

Dad: I guess I wasn't Gouda-nough

So you like cheesy puns, eh? Well you've Comte the right place. I can Feta bunch of Gouda puns into one Muenster-sized sentence. None of the other tools in the Cheddar quite as sharp as I am, at least when it comes to cheese puns. Whoever will lend an o-Paneer will be in Whey over their heads. So look out Baylough, I'm dropping a Bandal of comedy gold that will make your Bra and Pantysgawn.

Or as cheese lovers like to say...

Gouda Wouda Shouda

He works for a cheese company and gets a lot of cheese. He pulled out a block of gouda and I of course had to ask how it tastes, and as usual he replies "It's very gouda" I then asked him if those jokes ever get old around the office and he said no, he really doesn't make puns like that unless he is feeling cheesy.

My daughter and I were in CostCo the other day. She stopped to get a sample of gouda cheese. She doesn't like gouda cheese but decided to taste it. She says "I'm gonna eat this gouda cheese." "I said "That's gou-da for you."

But I had a loud argument with the chef at my favorite pizza place recently and he was yelling at me that he has the best quality cheese in town. He's normally a cool guy and it's a really nice place but I can't Gouda anymore .

Dad - "These burgers have gouda cheese on them, and those have white American on them."

Me - "These burgers are gouda, but THOSE burgers are bedda"

My dad made himself a turkey and cheese sandwhich and I asked for a bite. Me: "Oh thats good" Him: "No its actually Gouda"

I work part time managing a vineyard's tasting room. We serve a cheese plate and we tell people what kind of cheeses are on it. So I serve one and I get to the last cheese.

"This is a Vermont cave aged Gouda."

His response was, "I guess I'll find out how Gouda it is."

I think I'll steal it for the next time I serve one.

Me:That's one of my specialties! Yesterday when one of my coworkers playfully hit me with curtains I threatened to have her arrested for assault with a thread-ly weapon.

Her: That's so cheesy, but so gouda.

M: Hearing you say that makes me feel grate!

H: Course! I couldn't just let it brie without returning with a different pun. :)

M: I'm so glad we curd share this moment, it keeps me from feeling bleu.

H: Are you stilton going on about this? It could be seen as a provelone.

M: No Whey! Really? I accepted Cheeses into my life a long time ago.

H: Well, I believe that there is more out there than Cheeses, with your Parmesan I could continue. Too bad I am bread tired, and wish to be loafing around. Good night and sweet dreams

M: Well, early to Bread early to Rise, as they say. You have sweet dreams. Oh, and don't ask Rye if I'm in them

I work at Panera and my manager was in the back eating a slice of Gouda cheese. He says, "man, I love Gouda cheese, it's seriously the best kind of cheese there is." I proceed to turn around and hit him with "one might say it's the GOUDest cheese."

As I stare at the cheese aisle, I'm trying to decide what looks Gouda for my Munster appetite— each cheese goating me to choose it. The truth is, I don't know Jack about cheese selection. But then I realize I Havarti made my choice. I'll go with cheddar, because it has Provolone-standing favorite of mine. Now I better stop this Brie-fore it gets too cheesy.

True story—happened today. Hardy har harlsberg.

Da Brie everywhere.

Da Brie