True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
Medieval (good) times
A king banished his personal fool for singing love songs. He wanted comedy not a romantic jester
What’s the opposite of a good time?
Whatever happens in the MEANtime!
Did you know Father Time is actually really good at boxing?
Yeah, he can clock you a good one.
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
Sparkling good time
Why did the soda crusher quit his job?
.
.
.
It was soda pressing!
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...
...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds
My dad says the only difference between a good meal and a good time..
is where you put the cucumber..
GF: "You made good time today"
Me: "I only use the best ingredients"
gf gives me a look
GF: "Ingredients for time?"
Me: "I never use tardy sauce"
gf leaves room
I’m sure he’ll have an otterly good time
My wife told me I wasn't very good at listening - that it was time to make some changes and she needed some distance.
So I bought her an alarm clock with a remote control.
The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
How did Michael Jackson know when his girlfriend was having a good time during sex?
The only good time to yell “I have diarrhea” is when
you are playing Scrabble.
It's worth a shitload of points.
I know a good way to kill time
Grab a clock and beat it with a baseball bat
Sometimes, I have a hard time coming up with a good joke.
I went to that circle of infant male pigs expecting to have a good time but...
It was a little boar ring.
A recent study shows that watching Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times might not be good for your health.
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?
The prince was unbearable.
Friend: My mouth burned the whole time cause my dad made me eat this hot pepper in exchange for the show ticket. Wasn’t even a good show.
Me: You just really ate to see it
Russians are pretty good at buying time
I heard one was Stalin for a long while.
Even good harmonica players suck half the time...
And when they don't suck they blow.
I need your advice I have this friend. Our relationship is very unstable. Sometimes we have a very good connections and at other times we have a pretty bad connection.
Which state in the US has people saying good morning all the time?
I know I'll always have a good time at any beach.
I met a girl the other night who said she'd show me a good time.....
Took me to the park and ran 100m in 6.5 seconds!
I'm having a hard time finding a good pair of camouflage pants.
Beer is a good friend. We both get drunk at the same time.
We don't knead dough to have a good time.
My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...
You could say she left me hanging out to dry.
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
I've always had a good time hanging out with gynecologists
They really bring out the child in you.
I went to a crater convention expecting to have a good time
It ended up being the pits
Bonheur is French for happiness. Boner is English for a good time. Coincidence?
The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?
An old one but still good. What time is my dentists appointment?
Good Times?
Driving home last night my husband asks the kids "Hey do you guys want Good Times!?"(it's a burger joint), they get super excited and yell "yeah!!" His response, "Aren't these good times we're having?!"
the kids in question are 2 and 4..
I love this time of year because I'm really good at wrapping presents
I guess no time is too serious for a good dad joke
My brother and I are in the waiting room at the ER while my dad is back in the ER room texting us about what's going on. I wasn't sure if the ER was the same as the ICU. MY. My dad couldn't hold back.
http://imgur.com/sKewAWG
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