Is this sub still active?
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
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︎ Dec 31 2020
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, βYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, arenβt you?β
She said, βYeah.β
I said, βI knew it!β
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︎ Jan 27 2021
I am from the future
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︎ Dec 23 2020
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar
And things got a little tense.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Lets go back to the future!
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︎ Aug 02 2020
You can use ketchup to tell the future
In Heinzsight you probably can't
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︎ Dec 07 2020
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I really don't see much future for Advent Calendars
It feels like their days are numbered.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
The light of my life, a future dad:
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Finally got around to watching the whole βBack to the Futureβ trilogy!
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︎ Nov 28 2020
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Doctor I think Iβve gained the ability to see into the future
It all started next Tuesday
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︎ Oct 29 2020
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
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︎ Oct 16 2020
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
βDonβt worry, he just got disco-nnected.β
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︎ Oct 31 2020
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your time
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︎ Aug 09 2020
To the people who havenβt gone to the toilet in 2021
Why are you still holding onto last yearβs shit?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
β
My 9yr old son just told me this π€ͺ
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︎ Jul 28 2020
In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
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︎ Jan 06 2020
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I once had a dream about the future
There was milk in the fridge
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Your mother couldnβt believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.
But it was a real fortune smeller.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
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︎ Jan 22 2021
In the future...
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" ππ€£
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Training for dad level jokes.
My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.
Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.
At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!
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︎ Jun 10 2020
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
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︎ May 18 2020
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, βDonβt. Thereβs no future in it.β
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︎ Jan 09 2021
So it's 2021 now, then 2022, and then 2023.
I guess the vision for the future is getting worse.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.
They truly were ahead of their time
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︎ Jul 23 2020
My friend sold all his AMC shares...
He says he couldn't cinema future growth :(
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︎ Feb 04 2021
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
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︎ May 18 2020
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...
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︎ Dec 01 2020
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,
Things got a little tense.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
The past, present and future walk into a room.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar
Things got a little tense
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︎ Oct 20 2020
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your times
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︎ Aug 09 2020
The past,The present and The future entered a bar
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Past, present and future walked into a bar.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
The past, present and future walk into a bar
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︎ Jul 11 2020
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