Fishmonger Puns

A list of puns related to "Fishmonger"

The aware fishmonger knows his plaice
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👤︎ u/GaryTheKnight
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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Why are fishmongers hard to live with?

They selfish.

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👤︎ u/cockplops
📅︎ Nov 09 2018
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What did the fishmonger say to the magician?

Pick a cod. Any cod.

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👤︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
📅︎ May 14 2019
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Why did the fishmonger cross the road?

Just for the halibut.

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👤︎ u/Propyl_People_Ether
📅︎ May 14 2017
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Did I tell you about career ending the accident my brother had whilst working as a fishmonger?

He was gutted

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👤︎ u/stokokopops
📅︎ Apr 15 2018
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A man walks into a fishmonger with a trout flopping back and forth under his arm and asks "Do you do fishcakes?"

Pointing at the fish, "Cos it's his birthday."

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👤︎ u/Skubbags
📅︎ Jan 17 2018
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The fishmonger’s apprentice was flirting with me, but I have a hunch she just wants to make better commission.

I mean, it could be real but maybe that’s just fishful winking.

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👤︎ u/Slavaa
📅︎ Jan 13 2015
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Why did the fishmonger go to hell?

He sold his sole to the devil.

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👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Jun 10 2017
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I used to work in a Fishmongers and acted like I knew everything.

I soon learned my plaice

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👤︎ u/MickyLeeYT
📅︎ Mar 10 2018
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When choosing fish at the fishmonger's

Fishmonger: "they're all good, pick your poison"

Me: "Don't you mean, Pick your poisson?"

Fishmonger: <wink> "Good one"

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👤︎ u/neowie
📅︎ Feb 24 2017
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Why did the first fishmonger go to hell?

Because he sold his sole to the devil.

Why did the second fishmonger go to hell?

Because he was a sadistic serial killer who raped and tortured his victims.

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👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Jul 05 2017
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I remember the last words my grandfather ever said to me. He said ‘You selfish boy!’

Not long after that, I became a fishmonger.

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👤︎ u/CaptainAsia97
📅︎ Jul 31 2020
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Every time we pass a cemetery..

Dad: How many people do you think are dead in there?

Me or someone who hasn't heard it already: I don't know, 10,000?

Dad: All of them.

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👤︎ u/Huv
📅︎ Jun 09 2014
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