Fascinate

A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.

β€œGood morning class, today we’ll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?”

Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. β€œThe stars last night were fascinating.”

Teacher looks at her and says,”Close, I want you to use the word Fascinate.”

A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,”I’m fascinated by the ocean and it’s creatures.”

β€œThat’s still not the answer I’m looking for.” The teacher says. β€œCan anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.”

A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,”My grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiCill666
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrscottib23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Watching a little tadpole swim around from one stage of life to another is fascinating.

I just love watching the frogress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Recently read a fascinating book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Some lifeguards at the pool were doing a ph test to see how the pool was doing, and I was fascinated by it.

I thought to myself, β€œDang, hydrogen is powerful”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obscure_Things
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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That explains his fascinating for electric cars.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sohel666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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A little boy watched, fascinated as his mother gently massaged cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing that on your face, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful!" said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you giving up?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Why are detectives fascinated by female trees?

Because they’re all mysteries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I had this crazy dream where I was completely weightless...

I was like 0mg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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As a kid I thought blackholes were really fascinating now they just suck.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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It's fascinating viewing the data over humanity's exponential consumption of lumber over time.

It is presented, of course, as a log log log.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NessaSola
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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I didn’t understand the kids’ fascination with Battle Royal Games

But after a fortnight, I finally did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeButNotMeToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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When turntables first became available people were fascinated by them

They were revolutionary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Dad, what is it with Spocks ears? Do they really make him look alien and fascinating?

Dad: that's two good points.........

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I'm always fascinated by how high-tech knives are

They are all cutting edge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minifiji
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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It's fascinating how the bug churches divided many years ago and now...

...the bugs are all in sects.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMAToMisbehave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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Son, I gotta tell ya, I've done some deep thinking and I've realized it's high time I quit my job and finally pursue my dream. I'm going to open a museum that commemorates the extensive and fascinating history of beverages.

I'm calling it The Gluggenheim

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wstopak
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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Want to hear a fascinating story?

When I was growing up, I had a coat with nine buttons. It didn't fit me very well, so I could only fasten eight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fevanpatrick
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
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We're learning about electricity in Physics class...

Ohm my gawd, it's fascinating!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Not a dad, and I hope this isn't a bad one!

Say, a certain age demographic has a fascination with pandas fighting in boxing rings. If a movie studio takes note of this and shoves an unrelated, random panda-in-a-boxing-ring scene in their movie, would it be seen as...

Pande-ring?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VZmatthews
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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I was shocked when my dad came out as gay....

But the real surprise came when my other dad came out, too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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There was man named Demitri who lived in Russia....

Throughout his whole life he was just fascinated with trains. Specifically passenger cars. He would enjoy going on trips with his family.

Demitri grew up and decided to make it his career. Unfortunately the difficult life he had from bullies pushed him towards the bottle and turned him to an alcoholic.

One late night in his shift he wrecked the train killing 10 people. When the courts found out he was drunk while operating they charged him with murder and sentenced him to the electric chair. For his last meal he only requested a simple ripe banana. When his time came the executioner strapped him to chair and asked for any last words. He simply said, "No." The pulled the lever and to everyone's amazement he was unharmed. The government saw this as an act of God and released him.

Couple of years later Dimitri got another job operating locomotives again. Unfortunately bad habits are not easy to quit and he was still an alcoholic. These trains were his only happiness. Unfortunately it happened again. He was drunk and crashed the train this time killing 8 people. He was again sentenced to death by the electric chair. He once again requested a banana. This time executioner really soaked the sponge to not risk a repeat. When the lever was pulled Dimitri was again left unharmed. Once again it was concluded to be another act of God and he was given his freedom.

Dimitri turned to the bottle even more especially having 18 lives gone because of him. He somehow managed to get another job doing what he loved most. It happened again though. This time, 23 people. The courts angry sentenced him one more time to death by electric chair.

When the time for his final meal came he requested another banana. The guards being very visibly upset over the situation denied his request and he was left no last meal. As the time approached and he was strapped to the chair. The executioner had a large grin ready to take this murderous man off Earth. When he pulled the lever however he was still left unharmed.

Furious the executioner cried, "How are you still alive?! You did not eat the banana!"

Dimitri shook his head and simply said, "Oh no officer the banana is not why I'm still alive. It's because I'm a terrible conductor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jms199456
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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I spent most of yesterday evening watching Cricket highlights

My eyes are a bit sore now but I’ve always been fascinated by pitch illuminations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbiggs92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What does Spock say when he changes a fluorescent light bulb?

Live long and phosphor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pookie_face
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2015
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A man obsessed with tractors

A 22 year-old man was obsessed with tractors, so much so that he had no social life outside of his fascination with farm machinery. His mother eventually intervened, forcing him to throw away all of his tractor merchandise and ordered him to find himself a girlfriend.

The man went to a bar that night in search of a partner and encountered a beautiful blonde. After exchanging pleasantries, the two moved outside in order to have a proper conversation away from the music. As they ventured into the smoking area, the woman complained that she hated the cigarette fumes which had engulfed them. Without flinching, the man took a huge, deep breath and inhaled all of the second-hand smoke in the vicinity.

Staring on in amazement, the woman asks how he could possibly have removed the smoke from the room.

The man turns back to her and replies: "I'm an ex tractor fan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pablord13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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an old one from my dad

young cousin fascinatedly inspecting one of our house plants "Uncle Dad, what's this plant called?" "I think it's called a 'wandering Jew'". "Oh, is it dangerous?" "Yeah, they're not very gentile."

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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Not sure if dad joke or troll-dad

One of the many my dad got me with when I was a kid;

I was always fascinated with cars and overheard someone say that he liked Subarus because of the "boxer" engine. Later I asked dad what that was, and he said it was because they used the engine out of the Porsche Boxter.

For many years I argued with my friends that Subarus must be really fast because of their Porsche motors.

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
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I hope you're proud of yourself Dad

My little brother was fascinated by the picture of the 466 lb flounder that has been going around lately and I told him my dad would be interested. Little bro: "Look at how big this fish is dad!" Pops: "That is an absolute shame, you shouldn't be supporting that." Little bro: "Why? Are they not going to eat it?" Pops: "No. They do it just for the halibut." Me: [audible sigh]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnfuckindenver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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My Dad and I drove past a farm that had camels.

Me: Huh, that farm has camels.

Dad: Yeah that's fascinating, you'd think all the water in their humps would freeze over in this weather.

Then after my dad laughed at his own joke for a minute...

Me: Do camels even produce any kind of products you can sell?

Dad: Yeah, cigarettes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrEnrique
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Anyone out there still fascinated with Roman numerals ?

I, for one, still am.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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