Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated

It can get re-heated the next day as well

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
You can book my band for corporate events

We're called Linkedin Park

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UweBlab
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most popular event at autopsy club?

Open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...

We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuestionableQuery
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the frog community's favorite sporting event?

Marsh Madness

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...

It's an open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slatersays22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was the biggest event of 2020.

People were lined up for blocks!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dgpx89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR

What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I make my dog wear shoes at social events

So nobody notices his forepaws.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salazarjohann
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was a big event in 2020...

People were lined up for blocks.

https://i.imgur.com/Ph9QdvL.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Baldwin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m gutted I couldn’t go to the cheese tasting event this week

I heard it was a really fondue

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato who goes to a sporting event?

A spec-tater!

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Certain Olympic events should be thrown out

Discuss

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does electricity not like voting?

It doesn’t want to elect ron.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waxingcresent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It's amazing how many large events have been cancelled recently.

It has been an unconventional year.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MmmVomit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Based on real life events
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeMize_15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.

Just let me know if you can't come.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business

It was called Bruce Banisters

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME

I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.

Let's see what you can do!

What you need to know about the game:

  • You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
  • Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
  • You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.

That's basically it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyounr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Electric current events. /r/Jokes/comments/gttx2j/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The crossover event we’ve all been waiting for.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jokebadly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.

He was named Justin Case.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A conversation from today while attending a free santa picture event at my wife's workplace.

Lady- how old is your daughter?

Me - 5

Lady - when does she turn six?

Me - on her birthday

Lady (mad that she got dadded) when is her birthday?

Me - every year.

Wife and Lady both just sigh and walk away.

Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enis_with_a_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Would a Speed Dating event at Hobby Lobby be called...

Craft Singles?

My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.

I need to be kinder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/strmgdndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Chef Boyardee products that you stockpile in the event of a quarantine?

Beef-alone-y.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dante640XX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do corals even get stressed about?

Current events

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a british fundraiser?

A charitea event

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.

It will be on Paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event

Really

Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dennyitlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020

People will be lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship...

It’s on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niloc12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled, they're having to televise the world origami championships.

They're on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Zedd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.