European flounder Puns

3 Days Later

Sylpeiros nodded towards the Reviton civilians as he passed by them on the streets, a resolute expression on his face. He gave several more resolute nods to his direct subordinates as he entered the Reviton Defense Force's main base of operations. He kept nodding resolutely all the way until he reached his personal quarters, whereupon he collapsed into his chair – like a puppet with its strings cut – and closed his eyes.

Tiring, he thought. So tiring. Every day I feel more like a show horse brought out and trotted among the public for their amusement.

The sensation was unfamiliar and unwanted. Putting on a strong front for the public didn't used to weigh on him to this degree. Even the transitory excitement of finally leveling from 74 to 75 had faded all too quickly. Then again, he'd never needed to bear the brunt of their expectations for such a long period of time. Months of isolation under a siege of hellish abominations was fraying on everyone's nerves, his included.

Their only saving grace was that, of late, the abominations' attacks had weakened. The first turning point came about when Sylpeiros expunged the nearby Dungeon; his scholars' theory that the Dungeon was connected to the Blight in some fashion ended up being correct. Afterwards, the frequency with which those twisted creatures materialized out of the ambient mana surrounding Reviton lessened. The second turning point was far more recent, occurring just three days ago. For no discernible reason, every Blight-sired abomination simultaneously froze in the middle of combat, expressions of shocked confusion plastered onto their faces. They stood perfectly still as they were butchered, and since then, even fewer were forming than before.

Sylpeiros hadn't the faintest idea of why, but he wasn't going to spurn a much-needed reprieve. Mages and scholars would figure out the cause – his purpose was to slay enemies and nod resolutely.

And to engage in unwanted conversation. Sylpeiros allowed himself fifteen minutes of rest before dragging himself over to the Message Crystal tucked away in the corner of his room. Nothing would come of this correspondence, of that he was certain, but it was his duty as Seneschal to try regardless. With a pained grimace, he activated the Message Crystal, used it to contact the adjoining Crystal in Dragonkin territory, and waited.

Forty fucking minutes later, someone finally answered. "Hello?" A voice said, sounding haggard. "Who is this?"

Rotten Tomatoes: 67% (6.10 in average rating) with 100 reviews

> Critics consensus: House of Gucci vacillates between inspired camp and dour drama too often to pull off a confident runway strut, but Lady Gaga's note-perfect performance has a timeless style all its own.

Metacritic: 59/100 (43 critics)

As with other movies, the scores are set to change as time passes. Meanwhile, I'll post some short reviews on the movie.

> Ridley Scott’s film is a trashtacular watch that I wouldn’t have missed for the world. But it fails to settle on a consistent tone — overlong and undisciplined as it careens between high drama and opera buffa.

-David Rooney, The Hollywood Reporter

> It may not resonate with the biblical weight of “There Will Be Blood” or scald with the hedonistic swagger of “The Wolf of Wall Street,” but Scott’s film offers a shrewdly divided fable about the way things tend to get cheapened as they grow more lucrative. As art sells its soul to commerce. Maurizio was a Gucci, and Patrizia made him merely rich. It would be hard to imagine a more fitting place to see it than at a big multiplex full of steaming franchise shit over Thanksgiving weekend.

-David Ehrlich, IndieWire: B+

> House of Gucci is an icepick docudrama that has a great deal of fun with its grand roster of ambitious scoundrels, but it’s never less than a straight-faced and nimbly accomplished movie.

-Owen Gleiberman, Variety

> In the end, this is Lady Gaga’s film: her watchability suffuses the picture, an arrabbiata sauce of wit, scorn and style.

-Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian: 4/5

> “House of Gucci” clocks in at two hours at 37 minutes and for the most part moves at a good pace, though does tend to plod when Gaga’s not on screen and the plot turns to Maurizio’s business dealings as Gucci competes with rival fashion houses for fresh talent. There are also some on-the-nose needle drops and those seeking Oscar-ready earnestness might n

We recommend feeding your African Dwarf Frogs a few (to several) different foods in rotation. This a good way to help them get their nutritional needs met. Some foods make a decent staple, like the frozen Mysis shrimp, packaged in the little cubes and found at many pet stores. Some are treat material, like frozen brine shrimp (found in the same type of cubed packaging at the pet store), and some provide the vitamins and minerals they might otherwise be missing in an all protein diet; like a pellet food formulated specifically for frogs.

Freeze-dried foods and Bloodworms:

These foods are not recommended. A quick google search will lead you down a rabbit hole of forum posts going back and forth, pro and against, these food items. The bottom line for us is that there is a possibility that these foods are commonly associated with internal damage and bloating, and with so many other options available, why chance it?

Frozen foods:

As mentioned above, you can usually locate a freezer in your local pet store that has a variety of frozen fish foods packaged in little cubes. You might be lucky enough to find these: Mysis shrimp, Brine shrimp, Daphnia, Blackworms, and Mosquito larvae. These are all decent staple foods, minus the Brine; which definitely has a bit of protein, but is reportedly missing some other things and therefore should be used as a treat of sorts, vs a staple. For example, I personally use it about every other evening when mine are sitting in the bowl and begging for another feed. In the morning I give my 10 ADFs one cube of thawed Mysis; and about every third day they get some crushed up pellets mixed in with either their Mysis or their Brine.

Pellet foods:

When choosing a pellet food, please consider the ingredients. Avoid any listing corn in the ingredients and/or any other vegetable matter. This can cause your frogs to have loose/runny bowel movements and nobody wants that, especially your frogs. You also want to avoid any listing copper and/or zinc high up in the ingredients list. If they are down toward the end of the list, they are minimal amounts and when used in rotation with other foods, shouldn’t be problematic. Here’s some good pellet options: https://www.joshsfrogs.com/pisces-frog-tadpole-food-1-2-oz.html

https://invertaquatics.com/products/frog-bites Here’s a lower quality pellet you MUST soak before feeding but is available at most pet stores: https://www.chewy.com/zoo-med-aquatic-frog-tadpole-food/dp/124345?utm_so

SKA TYPE BEAT

So, I love Sami Zayn. Most people who’ve talked to me for a fair amount of time know that. He’s my all time favorite wrestler, and I think he possesses a totally uncanny ability to garner sympathy and support from an audience like no one else. I think he is a singularly perfect underdog babyface, an eternal David able to make any opponent he faces into a Goliath. I also think WWE has dropped the ball with him, let him flounder in a way that actually can’t be substantially recovered from. At some point he went from a genuine fan favorite to just another occasionally very entertaining guy on the roster, and I think that crucial transition point took place in the post-draft 2016-2017 era of WWE where besides a few bright spots he was given very little to do. I seek here to rectify that tipping point, to set Zayn on a path with far more potential, a path to greater success and maybe even a future place in the main event. I’ll try not to let things get too fanfic-y.

Oh, also a couple stipulations. First of all, Sami does not interact with Kevin Owens at all on the main roster prior to the start of this booking. WWE has realized just how much these two hate each other and has seen to it that the two are separated from each other at all times possible. Owens appears in the IC title match at WrestleMania 32, Zayn does not. Zayn appears in the 2016 Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Owens does not. They don’t have their now famous cap-off match at Battleground, because why would you sell money like that on Battleground of all places (The Shield triple threat also doesn’t take place at Battleground, let it main event WrestleMania 34 or something. Jesus Christ). Second, Sami Zayn should not debut on WWE’s main roster until the Raw after WrestleMania 32. He doesn’t show up in the Rumble, or at Fastlane, he doesn’t go back and forth between Raw and NXT. He can maybe still have that match against John Cena but that should be a one off. For all intents and purposes, his arrival post-Mania is the first impression most people are gonna have of him. Third, the New Draft should not go into effect until after SummerSlam of 2016. Why? I don’t know, because I need it to for the flow of my booking. Anyways, enough dillydallying. Without further ado, I give you my rebooking of Sami Zayn. Olé!

SummerSlam 2016

It’s August, and 2016 is not going quite as well for Sami Zayn as he might’ve hoped. He was given a hero’s welcome whe

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

So obviously a lot of people have been talking about the purchase of the Penguins by the Fenway Sports Group, and I just wanted to get my thoughts down and talk a little bit about what I think about the sale and its future impact on the Pens.

1.   My first thought when the news first broke was that I hoped Mario wouldn’t be leaving, and I’m thankful that not only will he still retain minority ownership, but all of the upper management appears to be remaining with the team.
   

2.   The owners are great winners. John Henry, the head of FSG, bought the Red Sox at the end of 2001, and the Sox won their first World Series in 86 years in 2004, and then won 3 more through 2018. In 2010, FSG bought Liverpool FC, really should’ve won the title in 2014, but ultimately won the Champions League in 2019 and the Premier League in 2020, while rebuilding a club that had been floundering for decades.
   

3.   As a Manchester United fan, it feels weird seeing my hockey team being bought by a rival owner, but I have to admit there’s a reason they have such a great reputation. Liverpool and the Red Sox are both known for being on the cutting edge of sports analytics and finding talent where others couldn’t, which is exciting to think about from the perspective of the Penguins.
   

4.   The one issue I have with John Henry is the attempted creation of the European Super League; however, the NHL is already the equivalent of that, and I don’t have any real concerns about him trying to do something on that scale.
   

These next points more just address some of the issues I’ve seen brought up by other people in this sub and online in general.

5.   A lot of people seem to think that new ownership means that the Pens will move on from Geno and/or Letang this offseason. I honestly don’t get that at all; as I mentioned earlier, upper management is remaining in place, and they’re the ones that are responsible for player personnel. Beyond that, Mario still will have a say, and I don’t believe he’ll want to see 2 of the 3 cornerstone franchise players leave. People have compared this situation to the Red Sox not resigning Mookie Betts in 2019, but the situations are significantly different. Mookie was given a 12-year, $365 million contract by the Dodgers, and that would’ve damaged the Red Sox pay structure, especially with the luxury tax. Basically, the Sox would’ve had to pay money in luxury tax to the MLB since baseball doesn’t have a hard cap like the NHL. This isn’t a factor 

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

And boy are my arms legs.

Pilot on me!!

Hi everyone,
Here is the news from the last week!

Stories:

• THE NEW THANKSGIVING UPDATE
  By Ezeh_W

On the 24th of November, 2021, HBC General Governor and NORTHWIND developer Vile posted a Reddit post, titled "Update 15.3 Changelog." This Reddit post introduced all of the vital changes of the most recent update to the game, with that update being themed towards Thanksgiving, a holiday many of us all know in love! Thanksgiving dyes and new items have come to the Ducat store in result of this, such as the gorgle, which was a metal fashionable armor plate that would be strapped around the collar bone. This was a fashionable luxury for military personel in most European cultures as far back as the 13-1400s! All Halloween items have henceforth been removed from the ducat store, and can no longer be obtained until next October. Some new Thanksgiving themed items that have been added to the game include:

-The Turkey brooch.

-The Buffalo Hat.

-The Morion Helmet (another military fashion dating back to the 13-1400s.)

https://preview.redd.it/60kln890ih281.png?width=428&format=png&auto=webp&s=572ca67faaef33048a33ee06657076dee17a3fb8

https://preview.redd.it/igly2q70eh281.png?width=1680&format=png&auto=webp&s=d1884c5c5efe76e6e09726207949020ce965b451

With this update comes many great festive changes as well! As many players can see, the sad NPC in the center of James Bay is now gone, as well as the corpses on crosses found in many areas across the map.

https://preview.redd.it/hsyzbc71eh281.png?width=1680&format=png&auto=webp&s=aff67c5813478ec608e2c4c664474fe9c7a91309

Here's hoping to a great Thanksgiving across the frontier!

https://preview.redd.it/uwopbxe2eh281.png?width=747&format=png&auto=webp&s=7829aa8a3b4cf9be0aae7a040f2f41579e5523e5

• The Jezail Nerf
  By Birb man

After update 15.3 went public, players quickly noticed that the change list stated that jezails had recieved an aiming nerf. Previous to this change, the jezail’s accuracy was better than any other in the game, combined with it’s damage, this gun was lethal on the frontier. Even though the gun still deals 100 damage to the head, and 90 to the body, it’s rendered useless without it’s old accuracy to support the damage. There’s currently a lot of controversy on this, some players see this as balancing, whilst others think that the rarity of the jezail made it acceptable to have such good accuracy. Some players have e

Christopher Walken

NA Valorant has seen its fair share of rivalries - the legendary Sentinels/TSM rivalry that defined the Ignition era of competition, to the more one-sided 100T/Sentinels rivalry that has shades of Astralis vs Liquid. But in my opinion, NA's most fierce rivalry is one that sees the teams trading series back and forth, one that's heated both in and out of the server, both domestically and internationally, and the best part? It doesn't feature Sentinels.

Welcome to Envy vs 100 Thieves.

Where It All Began

Hastr0 - founder and former CEO of Envy - has gone on record multiple times to reinforce his organization's dedication to winning trophies, which is something that drew ire from some of his peers, most notably the founder of 100 Thieves - Nadeshot. While 100T, like any other esports organization, places emphasis on winning, they've received criticism in the past for being too focused on their merchandise and apparel sales, being termed a "hoodie org" by some. So when Hastr0 tweeted this on November 1, 2020, the reaction to the tweet from 100T fans was... harsh, to put it lightly.

As fate would have it, Hastr0 would have an opportunity to put his money where his mouth was very soon, as both Envy and 100T were favorites to take the upcoming Valorant First Strike tournament. Both teams were coming into the tournament with revamped rosters and - for Envy specifically - a ton of hype off of scrim results. Unfortunately for Hastr0, Envy's scrim results did not translate, as they would be systematically dismantled in their semifinals match against TSM. Forced to observe from the sidelines, the boys of Envy could only sit and watch as 100T pulled off a miracle run, taking down the two kings of the Ignition era in Sentinels and TSM back to back to be crowned First Strike Champions.

To add insult to injury, in the following JBL Quantum Cup, 100T would not just beat Envy, but completely embarass them 13-0 in their only matchup of the tournament. The reception from 100T fans was, as expected, ecstatic. After all, they had just drawn first blood in this rivalry.

The VCT Era: Masters 1

Alongside Sentinels, Envy and 100T were two of the teams with the biggest expectations on them heading into the 2021 Valorant Champions Tour. Despite their disappo

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

It really does, I swear!