You know why environmentalism is said to be green?

Because the earth is sick of the hypocrisy of the protesters who claim to be defending it.

https://i0.wp.com/climatechangedispatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/cartoon-earth-day.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Did you know Bruce Banner disposes 95% of his waste in an environmentally friendly way?

Yes, he’s pretty green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inspector--Warp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What's the most environmentally unfriendly meal?

Carbonara

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rorech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Girls who talk about girl problems are good, but girls who talk about environmental problems are...

GRETA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metrixio_3D
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Girls who talk about girls' problems are great, but girls who talk about environmental problems are.... reddit.com/r/teenagers/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicy-lamp
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Spare bike parts are environmentally friendly

They are recyclable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Bambusbjorn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Why did the environmentally-friendly factory require that its workers start wearing suspenders to work?

They wanted to eliminate waist products.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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A glue company claimed it was environmentally friendly but was found to be dumping waste into the local river.

Their PR team is in a sticky situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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My environmentally conscious friend built a car with wooden doors, wooden engine and a wooden chassis.

Unfortunately it wooden work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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I've started being more environmentally friendly.

I just told a tree that it's really attractive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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How can you tell which fish is the most environmentally friendly?

By it's e-fish-ency rating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onemanwolfpack21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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Only cabbage for Christmas

So my wife was rooting through my desk to get an envelope and stumbled across one of her Christmas presents that I hadn't wrapped yet. I told her that she's bad for snooping and that I would have to send it back.

Due to recent environmental regulations and the price of coal, it is no longer given to naughty people for Christmas. Instead you get a cabbage. It will come thinly sliced with mayonnaise.

This is known as Coal's Law.

"That was the whole setup wasn't it for that line"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjbehrendt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Legally Bland

A friend of mine is an environmental lawyer. She has sue-for-natural powers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunboySlim
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Dadjoked by NPR this morning

The voice on the radio explained how collecting rainwater was catching on in environmental groups. Some people upgraded from a 55 gallon barrel to a 500 gallon vessel. Shows that water vessels can be a real gateway jug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crciv
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2016
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First day at work

I started my internship today at an environmental consulting firm. My boss was introducing me to a colleague.

Boss: "This is Ellie-okay, he's the summer intern and he's studying civil engineering."

Colleague: "I can tell, he's very polite."

All the guys around his cubicle groaned while the three of us let out a big laugh. I think I'm gonna like working here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ellie-okay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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Girls who talks about girls' problems are great.

But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Girls who talk about girls problems are great

but girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashHash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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