When my Mum and her sisters were younger, in an attempt to keep them quiet for half an hour, he told them to sit down next to each other so he could do their portrait. Every now and again he would stop, look up and to ensure he had the correct scale, held out his thumb and squinted a little, then continued.
After half an hour they got restless and said "Are you done yet, let's see".
He turned the drawing pad around to show...a simple sketch of a thumb.
Not a Dad yet, but thankful to have this trick up my sleeve for when I am.
Girlfriend came home from a rough day of class and asks me to draw her a bath. So I got a paper and pencil, drew her a bath tub, and handed it to her. The look she gave me has been imprinted into my brain.
My two-year-old son was trying desperately to reach something on the countertop and becoming quite distressed.
It turns out that he just really, really wanted the potato peeler.
"Well, here you go, son," I said, as I handed it to him, "but I don't see what the big draw is - I mean, it's not even a'peelin'."
I'm dying over here, and he's just wandered off to try to peel the rug.
He was drawing graphs on the whiteboard
Him: "How am I going to draw this line?'
Me: "With the marker in your hand."
So I would imagine he would probably be pretty proud of me sharing his "jokes" on here. Even though they were a persistent annoyance for me growing up, I almost feel like sharing them with the Reddit world kind of takes away some of the specialness. I can't claim any of these are original, but outside of my father, I've never heard anyone else use them.
#1. Whenever he has to pay for anything ANYWHERE, he says, "my name is Crime". The usual reaction is a blank stare. Then he says, "Crime doesn't pay".
#2. Anytime we go out to a restaurant and the waiter comes to hand us our check he says, "No thanks we can't stay for the drawing, you can contact us by phone if we win anything".
#3. The mother of all his "dad jokes", this one elicits the most laughter. Anytime he tells someone how he met my mom he says, "In college I used to be her tutor. I tutored her in anatomy by braille".
He'll on occasion drop others, but those are the ones I grew up with and that he still continues to use to this day. The crime joke. Every. Single. Day. I'm surprised my mother hasn't murdered him after all these years...
