As I was rowing my boat towards the shore, a small black bird stopped me from docking.
Quoth the raven, “Never moor.”
So a boat was having second thoughts about docking on a port.
Why?
Because of pier pressure.
Old boat docks never die…
My friends invited me to do drugs on the docks
The Pier pressure is heavy
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says “My wife’s an angel
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
Found out my son jumped the water by the docks
My friend keeps asking me if I’ll help him build a dock behind his lake house, even though I keep telling him “no.”
Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.
I was at the lake, and I had a really bad feeling about the dock.
Why do boats never go to sleep after they leave the dock?
Because they leave a wake.
I've started a boating business from my attic.
The sails are going through the roof.
Why did the magician insult the dock?
When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...
It was good to see dad's berth place.
My inflatable dock burst after my friends kept telling me to fill it with more air.
I never wanted to go to the docks, but after my friends pestered me for an hour I finally gave into pier pressure
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
I just witnessed a bride walk down the isle to the song "dock of a bay"
Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one.....the others escaped with minor injuries.
Why did the sunken dock feel anxious?
It was under pier pressure
How do you know if a dock has good morals?
It doesn’t succumb to pier pressure.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull...
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What did the boat say to the pier?
The boat is sick
We gotta take it to the dock.
What does a fish do when it gets sick?
The state passed a new regulation that you can only have one dock at a boat landing.
Because if you had two it would be a paradox.
Where did the Dock go for advice?
All of Norway's battleships have huge bar-codes printed on the side...
and when the ship comes to dock they Scandinavian.
Someone pushed me off a dock today for singing poorly.
Why does a dock master check wander out onto the docks? To be amongst his piers.
My friends were convinced that boats stay docked due to the anchor. I knew the real answer, but I was alone so I decided not to argue.
Did you hear about the helmsman who crashed his boat at the dock?
He had an accident at berth.
An escaped prisoner was captured down at the docks.
They were harboring a fugitive.
How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial?
Have it decided by a jury of his piers
Did you hear about the dock that collapsed during Hurricane Sandy?
It experienced pier pressure.
A couple of my favourites...
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes one them? So that when they dock, they can Scandinavian.
And then these work as a one-two punch:
I started a business building yachts from home...sails have been going through the roof.
And before that I had a business clearing the fallen leaves from people's backyards. I was raking it in.
If your house doesn't have house numbers on it,
you need to address that situation.
Where does a stock broker dock their boat?
Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one...
...and the other two escaped with minor injuries.
Why did the dock cave in?
Why didn’t the boat dock?
Why didn't the boat dock?
Where does a boat go when it’s sick?
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