From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?
Because he lived in a pen!
So very proud!
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...
What did the leftovers covered with aluminum say?
From my 7 year old - why was the egg covered in ink?
Because it was being ink-cubated
He came up with this one on his own after hearing another one on this sub.
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Back in my day, we used to cough to cover up a fart.
But nowadays, with Covid, you fart to cover up a cough.
Had a David Bowie cover band play the entire Diamond Dogs album....
And, the Cubic Zirconiums were awesome! But definitely NOT anywhere near the real Diamonds, dawg.
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
I was trying to form a Fleetwood Mac cover band, but couldn't get the vocalist just right...
I had to Nicks that idea.
I walked in the shop, glimpsing my beard covered in snow as I entered
"You're a few weeks late aren't you Santa?" the girl behind the counter joked, smiling.
"Ho, ho, ho!" I fired back at her, in an uncharacteristic misogynistic outburst.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
What is a good name for a cover band?
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
I'll see myself out
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches you’ve never heard of but need to try
Adult deer may not taste good covered in melted cheese
My baby keeps getting covered in drool.
I need to get a better pillow...
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.
I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.
What do you call things that are said under the covers?
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?
Because, it would blow his cover.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
How do libraries help keep the books warm?
They give them book jackets!
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
I grew up after covered wagons, but before space stations.
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me...
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?”
I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.”
She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.
I found it way more entertaining then she did.
Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..
Did you hear they just diacovered an Egyptian mummy that was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts?
I asked my dad why his ghost costume smells so bad.
He told me it was because he was covered in sheet.
What is the most hygienic insect?
A deodor-ant.
Thanks to drunken me 5 years ago.
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
I went out to my car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
I started a band called "Blanket"
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