Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!

Our therapist said I need to valley date you.

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📅︎ Dec 21 2020
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My dad is a Star Wars fan and my parents are in couples therapy over it.

Therapist: So why do you want to end your marriage?

Mom: I'm sick of all of the Star Wars puns.

Dad: Divorce is strong with this one.

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👤︎ u/Zax1989
📅︎ Oct 30 2016
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Why did the IT support guy start going to couples therapy?

Because he was unable to connect with his Wi-Fi.

(I originally heard this joke as "Why was the IT guy sad?" "Because his Wi-Fi left him".

I ask you, which is better. Your answer should be neither, both are horrible.)

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ May 11 2017
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My son just bumped his head [help]

OK, this just happened: bumped head, bag of frozen veggies, < enter dad stage left (the doorway, stage right is a window, and it's shut).>

Me: what happened little man? Him: <he explains> Me: So... mummy peed on your head? <Wife smirks condescendingly> Him: what?

Now, this is what I need help with, it's not the first time this has happened either, the wife goes on for a minute or so explaining how "wee" is sometimes called "pee" and how I'm deliberately misunderstanding him for comic effect.

If this wasn't bad enough he then howls with laughter for about five minutes getting me to repeat what I said again and again, all the while jumping around in the bed and generally totally cured by my comedic genius.

This isn't the way it's meant to be, is it? Can I enrol in a local parenting class, or should I send my wife to couples therapy?

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Aug 10 2016
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