What do you call an angry psychologist?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I went to a child psychologist once.
He was absolutely rubbish, he was only seven.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why do psychologists like newsagents?
Because they have the most issues.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
For years, my parents sent me to a child psychologist
That kid didnβt help me at all.
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︎ May 29 2020
A psychologist is writing a paper on the ramifications of the unsocial attitude of the average person:
What does the mean mean mean?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
My brother-in-law, a clinical psychologist, says he is cutting back the days and hours of his work week.
In short his practice is shrinking.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
What would you call a psychologist who doesn't do his taxes?
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My parents took me to a child psychologist once, but that was a complete disaster.
The kid was only six years old.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Someone get that plunger a psychologist.
He has been dealing with a lot of shit lately and is trying to bring it up.
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︎ Mar 16 2020
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
I talked to my psychologist about my growing fears about death for an hour..
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︎ Oct 26 2019
What is a psychologist's most powerful weapon?
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︎ Nov 21 2019
One of my family's most valued heirlooms is a night gown my great-great-grandma bought from a notable psychologist...
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︎ Sep 26 2019
"What seems to be the problem?" The Psychologist asked the Elephant Poacher
"Ivory too much" He said.
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︎ Nov 03 2019
My psychologist told me I'm crazy so I asked for a 2nd opinion
He said, "Okay, you're ugly too ".
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︎ Sep 25 2019
I went to see a psychologist after I discovered cracks in the hearth of my fireplace.
I told him I was having a mantle breakdown.
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︎ Mar 15 2016
A man walks into a psychologist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap around his waist.
The doctor says "I can clearly see your nuts!"
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Being a child-psychologist is so rewarding,
You hear the most touching stories!
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︎ Jun 10 2018
What did the farmer talk about with his psychologist?
Iβve been trying to get my crush to notice me, but I canβt atractor attention.
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︎ Jul 13 2018
What did the Mexican psychologist say to his patient?
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︎ Dec 26 2018
My psychologist claims my issues stem from egotism...
But then, why wouldn't they?
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︎ Feb 20 2019
What does a Psychologist Put on Before Going to Bed?
They put on their Piagets!
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Never trust a psychologist to do your taxes
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︎ Mar 29 2018
A psychologist, a pterodactyl and a psychic all go to the toilet for a number 1.
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︎ Dec 05 2017
I told my psychologist I keep thinking I have grandkids.
She says I have allusions of Granda'
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︎ Jan 24 2018
I always knew there was something wrong with my mother in law's dog. I'm no psychologist, but...
It clearly has maltipoo personality disorder.
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︎ Nov 21 2017
I really dislike that bovid psychologist down the road.
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︎ Nov 11 2017
Where do psychologists love to have lunch?
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︎ Jun 25 2016
"To put the diagnosis in layman's terms, you have an attitude problem", the psychologist says
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︎ Sep 24 2016
For the psychologists
My mum accidently made a brilliant unintended joke earlier.
Me: I hope classical and operant conditioning comes up on paper 2
Mum: What's that again?
Me: well classical has Pavlov's case study, do you remember?
Mum: oh yeah that's ringing a bell
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︎ May 19 2016
What is a psychologist's favorite Bob Dylan Song?
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︎ May 09 2012
Did you hear about the group of duck psychologists?
They were flocking quacks
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︎ Apr 30 2015
What do you call an angry psychologist?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
When I was young my parents sent me to a child psychologist
That kid didnβt help at all
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︎ Jul 27 2020
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
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︎ Jul 20 2018
what did the psychologist say to the man who walked into his office in saran wrap?
I can clearly see your nuts.
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︎ Aug 17 2018
A guy walks into a psychologists office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap...
The psychologist says βI can clearly see your nutsβ
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︎ Jun 10 2018
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