Did you hear the one about the hypnotist mathematician?

He tried to hypotenuse everyone.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Dec 01 2019
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Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82...

...I'm easily lead.

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Sep 19 2018
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A hypnotist convinced me that I was the door by which you enter a building.

I was entranced.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ May 10 2019
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My wife wants me to see a hypnotist

but I'm a chicken

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/Deeman_27
📅︎ Jan 25 2018
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Doctor Visit

A woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Dawn referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache.' It worked... The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "That was wonderful..."

The husband says, "Don't move... I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Jul 24 2020
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