THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.

No change is expected

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/junerlegion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..

That wasn’t cool.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2021
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Just heard the latest on Tiger's condition.

He's not out of the Woods yet!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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I gave the dog a bath today and the wife noticed how soft she was and asked β€œDid you condition her?”

So I said β€œyeah, I rang a bell and then fed her”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billwashere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions

I C Y

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bawkalor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2021
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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet....

I get hungry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2021
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https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/conjunctivitis/

Thats a site for sore eyes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RaymonDGYC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2021
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Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....

.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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Why are models against air conditioning?

Because they use OnlyFans

πŸ‘οΈŽ 101
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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Why do they condition hospital I.V. bottles?

Because everyone loves smooth saline!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Melvin-_-_-Marvelous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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I have an ant infestation in my fridge and air-conditioning units!

They're refrigerants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/repostssleuthbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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Kissing someone is human version of accepting germs and conditions
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TickleLife
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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Why was Marty McFly's Delorean in such good condition?

Because he only drove it from time to time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Sadly due to a neurological condition, I have a permanent hand tremor..

Good side is that when I do a handshake, I do it literally.

(Condition is inoperable brain tumour)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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What’s the coolest disease or condition one can die from?

Hypothermia! It’s the coolest way to go.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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Why are AC/DC always so hungry?

Because it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NZOC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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I'm looking to sell my Delorean. It’s in Great condition, low mileage..

Only driven from time to time!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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how are air conditioning and computers similar?

they don't work as well if you open windows

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alexparker70
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call a survivalist with air conditioning?

A chilly prepper

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people

It's a gag reflex

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fingadod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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My doctor assessed my condition and grimaced. 'I--uh, I give you two weeks max."

"Bad news," I said, "and my name is Tom."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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What does air conditioning and a 10 year old computer have in common?

Both of them are useless when you open windows

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheStupidWanker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.

Doctors say he is in stable condition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mgsalinger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.

The doctor said it was terminal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Popular333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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Out air conditioning just went out, it's 81Β°F in the house. My dog is looking at me like...

"This is not cool..."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPossible
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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What do you call an Irish Decepticon with a skin condition?

A leper-con!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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I have a condition where my body is invisible to the naked eye.

I went to the doctor, and he said, "Sorry, I can't see you now."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/195236
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
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What type of medical condition excites politicians?

Pro-state cancer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?

Bridges may be, icy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditions it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhena_lahrie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft??

Because he conditioned it. πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TattooedTimi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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I call myself terms and conditions

Because y'all keep ignoring me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A1B1D1U1L1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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I hate insomnia, it's a horrible condition

I'm losing sleep over it.

On the plus side, it's only 3 more sleeps until Christmas

πŸ‘οΈŽ 104
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2020
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What kind of medical condition causes wrinkles clothes?

An iron deficiency.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 132
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Misplaced_Texan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2020
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There was an old lady who swallowed a horse

Her condition is stable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peterburk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
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Why do we need toothpaste?

Because they keep our teeth in mint condition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cocomaybechanel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2021
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I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said β€˜if you need anything, I’m Jill.’

I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ItsRynGYT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2020
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Mr. Ed

Man, I was worried when Mr. Ed had to be hospitalized. But now I've heard he's back home and his condition is stable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinoza418
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and SchrΓΆdinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who had 12 plastic horses up his butt?

Doctor's reported his condition as stable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smusac
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do they condition all of the I.V. bottles at the hospital?

Everyone loves smooth saline!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him

He’s in stable condition

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills

No change is expected.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Limelight_019283
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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