94/100
So I recently started DMing a D&D campaign for a few of my friends. In the most recent session, they visited a magical city with all sorts of odd arcane items scattered around the various shops in town.
One of the players found a magic book that allows them to basically learn something new every time they study it that usually relates to duck language. I need help brainstorming different things that could happen.
Basically nothing game-breaking, mostly things for flavour that don’t hinder the player too much.
1- you learn a few greeting words in duck, such as “hello”, “good morning”, “welcome”.
2- the book glows with a golden aura and you gain 1d10 temporary hitpoints for the next 1d8 hours.
3- audibly annoyed, the tome emits a loud “QUACK!” sound and you are thrown backwards, taking 1d8 force damage
4- you learn a few goodbye words, such as “goodnight”, “see you around”, and “bye”
5- the book glows an unearthly purple and you see hallucinations of spirit ducks walking around you. Anyone nearby can hear these ducks, but can’t determine where the noises are coming from.
6- as you read the page, hundreds of soft duck feathers fall from above, landing softly on your head and shoulders.
7- you learn some basic phrases
8- the tome quacks again, in a more cautious tone, and you learn a few curse words in duck.
9- That night as you dream you are visited by a giant duck floating on a lake that looks at you and says “you are the one duck” [u/Spriteknight99]
10- You learn some slang words that are exclusive to certain breeds and not others, and to tell which breed a duck belongs to based on the way it speaks [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
11- You learn a couple words you think are in duck... but they're actually in platypus [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
12- You gain the ability to understand what ducks say (but still can't speak their language) until the next dawn [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
13- You gain advantage in Persuasion and Intimidation checks made to persuade ducks [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
14- You learn a couple soft-sounding words in duck that turn out to be very easy to misinterpret as insults if you aren't careful about the context you use them in [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
15- You learn how to properly pronounce duck names [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
16- Your pronounciation skills in duck go up several notches, making it so that ducks that can hear you without seeing you could easily mistake you for one of their own [u/AsymmetricalLuna]
17- You learn a couple flir
... keep reading on reddit ➡https://preview.redd.it/1ng4h576qbn71.jpg?width=966&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da9858ed770a5c0074c0c9db6b625dd5c5ab0da5
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I guess the concept didn't work
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
He lost May
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
[removed]
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
