Coworker said she deserved a letter of commendation. I gave her several.

http://i.imgur.com/NwxSEJm.png

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👤︎ u/ieGod
📅︎ Sep 29 2016
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Commending the chef for not undercooking my steak.

It was a job well done.

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📅︎ Jan 12 2018
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Why does an ovum-dealing hymentoptera make things faster?

Because it's an egg-seller ant

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👤︎ u/_ze_
📅︎ May 24 2020
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So I used to collect those little cardboard discs with pictures on...

One time I took a bunch of them with me to Abu Dhabi and while most of them were fine one behaved very weirdly, splitting and separating like it was in the humid air of the tropics. Very strange. I even wrote a letter about it to a listings magazine, which began:

"What's On, I commend to your attention the curious incident of the POG in the dry clime."

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📅︎ Aug 25 2020
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TSA made the woman in front of me throw out her sushi.

I commended them on their valiant efforts to stop a potential SUSHIcide bomber!

Turns out they don't like jokes about that. :(

👍︎ 136
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📅︎ Aug 11 2015
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Dadjoked at the liquor store

So my wife's birthday was coming up, and she really loves absinthe. Lately she had been talking about visiting some bars or restaurants that served it, so I decided to splurge a bit and buy her a set of glasses and spoons, along with a nice bottle of "the green fairy."

Doing a little research, I discovered that a local distillery produced a well-regarded version of it, so I decided to hit a few liquor stores around town to see if they carried it. As luck would have it, the first place I went to did have some in stock.

I took it up to the counter and got into a conversation with the cashier. I explained how this was going to be a birthday present for my wife, and hopefully it would score me a few points in the romance department. His response: "Well, you know what they say--absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!"

I was dumbstruck. He started to apologize for his "corny joke" (as he put it), but I waved him off and was finally able to commend him on his brilliance. The best part of all--I have a great dadjoke I can repeat to co-workers and family members (or anyone else who will listen) for repeated eye rolls and exasperated groans.

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👤︎ u/mrdm242
📅︎ Nov 01 2014
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