You would be too if you lived under a Rock.
How the f*** did I get all these nickles?
Don’t read too much into it. Nothing good will come out of it.
I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."
He walked away with a spring in his step.
Son, this is not your house and I’m not your father
Let's see how displays out
Me: Do you even know what HTTP stands for? Dad: Hyperlink tetragrammaton!
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
It’s a mystery to me. I’m Clueless.
i am the most clueless person in the world when it comes to puns, but i want a really clever one for the back of my shirt for my high school powderpuff game. my name is maddie, they won’t allow any super inappropriate innuendos, and it has to be no more than 12 characters. all suggestions are appreciated!!! thanks y’all!!
I was Clueless
So I stayed with relatives in New Zealand for a while. I had no knowledge of the local places.
They were talking about a certain french style cafe.
Me: What's the cafe called?
Cousin: It's called deja-vu. Do you know it?
Me: Yeah I think I've seen it already.
Silence and faces of clueless people
I even had to explain the joke which kinda made me feel dumb. So I thought that's probably how a dad feels after making one of these jokes.
So my co-worker comes up to me & asks if I'd heard about the baby born with no eyelids. I responded no, & had no idea where he was going with this (he's told stories like this before & seems to just mess around with people). He tells me 'yeah, the doctor decided to fix it, so they took the skin from the foreskin of his penis.' Okay... really random story or I was just clueless. 'But there was a problem with the procedure, and the baby ended up coming out of the surgery cock-eyed.'
Me: I'll have an a-mond danish. Wife: You mean almond? (doesn't suspect a thing) Me: Do you know how they harvest a-monds? Wife: No. (still clueless) Me: They use a big piece of machinery to grab the tree and shake the L out of it. (Couldn't see any eye rolling because I was too busy doing a Jordan fadeaway in the very busy bakery)
My native language is dutch and in the sentence "hoe lang" means "how long". When pronouncing "hoe lang" in dutch it sounds like a chinese name. phonetically it would be "Hulang".
So my dad would always say out of nowhere "Hoelang is een Chinees", which translates into "How long is a chinese". Usually the people who hear the joke are clueless and look at him and weird and say "i dont know, i dont think all the chinese people have the same heigth, why do you ask me this?". Then he would say "Huh, what are you talking about? I was talking about my friend Hulang from China hahahahhahaha". He always laughs extremely loud after telling the joke, its part of the routine.
