Scientist have actually discovered a feline-like life-form on Mars! But unfortunately, one of their rovers ran over it, and
Curiosity killed the cat :(
During testing of a new version of Mars rover, a cat entered the test track and was run over. However, the cat was resuscitated when one staffer played a Benny Benassi hit track. A NASA representative has stated...
...that it was a pity that Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought it back.
Milky Way as viewed from Mars
Why can’t you do Schrodinger’s experiment on the surface of Mars?
Because Curiosity killed the cat.
I want to try one of those mushrooms they found on Mars.
I bet they're out of this world.
Mars: Is it true that only 3% of your water is drinkable?
Earth: Yes.
Mars: That’s pathetic.
Earth: At least I have more than you.
Mars: Stop being so salty.
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams & Bruno Mars met in a bar...
But they didn't planet that way.
A Rare photo of the MilkyWay from Mars
I wonder how sex feels like on Mars...
...probably out of this world!
I hate it when people talk about climate change
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
Because he wanted space
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
If you are not good at small talk, you should really talk about climate change.
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Breathtaking view of the milky way from mars
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Always part of a classical dish
What is the answer for climate change?
I don’t know but we’re getting warmer
Did you know a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence?
For example
- I ate my friend's lunch
- I ate my friend's colon
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
What kind of tree comes from your mouth?
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
I’m sorry aboot these. Please don’t kick me out of this sub or shoe me away....
What kind of pet do you step on?
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up, man. It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
What did the Mars rover say after it landed?
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
What do you call 2000 pounds of bones?
The CEOs of Miller, Bud, and Guinness walk into a bar
The bartender asks what they'd like.
The executive of Miller orders a Miller Lite, so the bartender gives it to him. The executive of Bud orders a Bud Light, and he's given one. The bartender looks at the CEO of Guinness, and he asks for a Coke. The bartender, bewildered, hands him the Coke and asks why he didn't order a Guinness. In reply, he said,
"I figured if those two weren't drinking beer, then neither would I!"
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
The CEO of IKEA was just selected as the Prime Minister of Sweden
He’s assembling his cabinet.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six-offender.
Wife was at the doctor’s office yesterday and texted me that she’s tired of waiting.
I told her to…be patient.
I’m a new dad of a five-month old baby and I was quite proud of this moment.
Why are there no cats on Mars?
Because Curiosity killed them.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Did you hear? NASA found a cat on Mars
Unfortunately, Curiosity killed it
They found a dead cat on Mars.
It appears it was ran over and killed by curiosity.
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
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