Was talking to my wife about heading to the local fire hall for their charity Christmas tree drop-off and chipping...
Me: "Do you know if they are rejecting any trees at the firehall this year?"
Wife: "No...? I haven't heard anything"
Me: "I guess they still have an o-PINE door policy!"
Wife: "I hate you so much right now"
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
What did the corn chips say to the thief?
I was hungry so I ate all my chips.
Everyone else at the poker game was not impressed.
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift
So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist.
My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking.
I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.
I got my chips before I put my money into the vending machine
I guess it's out of order.
What do you call chips that you can catch?
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
What's a dog's favorite kind of potato chip?
I just baked some fresh chocolate chip cookies
There was a fight in the fish and chip shop
What brand of chips is slower than Internet Explorer?
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says “My wife’s an angel
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
Last night my wife says "Honey will you go get us some tortilla chips and cheese?"
I looked deep into her eyes and said
"I'm nacho delivery service. "
What do you call a monkey that loves chips?
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?
I hear the givernment is putting chips in people.
What do ducks love with their tortilla chips?
Every morning when I am done getting my 2 year old ready for school I call her a Canadian potato chip.
Because she’s all dressed.
In Vegas, people can tithe by dropping casino chips in the offertory.
At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.
He’s the Chip Monk.
I love working at the chip factory...
But my boss really Lays in on me, and it Ruffles my feathers
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into a bowl of cheese sauce, but it turned out to be honey mustard.
It was a queso mistaken identity.
I told my wife “Honey, there’s a chip in our new bowls!” She was not as impressed.
My husband and I were eating chips when our toddler requested one. So he gave her a chip and she walked away.
A few minutes later she came back and my husband wasn’t paying attention so I said “give her another, dad.” And he responded with “what’s wrong with the dad she’s got?”
Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...
He says to the bloke behind the counter,
“Do you do fishcakes?”
The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.
“Yeah mate.”
Customer points to the cod under his arm.
“Better make him one then mate, it’s his birthday.”
What did the potato chip bag say to the battery?
I’m Frito Lay if you’re Eveready.
I was heating up chip dip when I spilled some on my feet.
I guess you could say i had toasty-toes.
I once ate a hundred chips in one sitting
That’s how I got banned from the casino
A drunk man eating chips wanders into a monastery
While wandering around he bumps into a old man in robes cooking.
With a grin the drunk man asks “Are you the fish friar?”
“No brother” he replied “I’m the chip monk”
A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips.
The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”
Do you know why these are MY cheese flavored chips?
Because they're Nacho Cheese Doritos!
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...
Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.
2020 came out looking like a warm chocolate chip cookie...
WHAT WAS THE FOOT'S FAVOURITE TYPE OF CHIPS?
Why was the potato chip working really hard?
Because it was crunch time
I felt bad when my wife ate all my potato chips...
What does Pac-Man eat with his chips?
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
Kid: Hey dad what flavor are those chips you are eating?
A kid says to his dad: "Hey dad what flavor are those chips you are eating?"
Dad: "My chips!"
Kid: "OK. But, what flavor are those chips?"
Dad: "My chips!"
Kid: "Seriously dad, what flavor are those chips?"
Dad reaches down, grabs the bag of chips, holds them up, points at the label and says: "I said they were my chips. See it says clearly on the bag Nachos."
I walked into a shop and asked if they had any helicopter flavour chips...
They said "no sorry we only have plane".
When the chips are down.....
...Pick them up and put them in the bin.
You don't eat things off the floor Malcolm
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop
The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted
Did you hear about the fight outside the chip shop the other day?
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