No historian has ever found the remainder of the cherry tree George Washington chopped down
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
They have milkshakes with whipped cream and cherries at Chick-fil-A, but nothing more elaborate...
Otherwise, they might have to work on sundaes.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Went to the store yesterday and bought a single cherry and some microphone equipment
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
The US grows two different species of cherry trees
Washington and Michigan grow both the sweet type, which is great for eating raw, and the sour type, which is used in pies and sauces.
But California grows only the sweet type. It's untarted cherritory.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
I went shopping at a cherry stand and then a microphone store.
Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.
The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk.
Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen.
He was peachless."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
If you discovered that cherry pies cost $2.75 in Jamaica, and that merengue pies cost $3.25 in the Bahamas, whatβs the significance?
Why, you have just found the Pie-rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 31 2019
How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
They should make bubble wrap with cherry shaped bubbles
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
I broke my dadjoke cherry at lunch today
I'm a fairly new dad and my wife was chopping up walnuts:
Me: my respect for walnuts has really changed for the better recently.
Wife: (looks at me funny...) Why?
Me: they've really come out of their shell...
There was an audible groan and sadly, I had to high five myself..
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 14 2018
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.
Life was tough in the gateau.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
How did the red cherries know who Jesusβs father was?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 02 2018
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacΓ© cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 28 2019
I tried the world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, made with part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet
Now every other type of coffee is un-civet-lysed
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 31 2018
I've never seen The Cherry Orchard, or Three Sisters
But that's definitely something I'd like to Chekhov my list.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 15 2018
Illegally recording a cover band playing Cherry Pie:
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 27 2015
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 28 2016
Eating too many cherries can be a real pain
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 22 2015
What has 50 legs and one cherry (according to my Dad)?
According to my Dad, it's not a centipede drinking an old-fashioned.
It's 25 Rockettes.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2014
Cherry Chocolate Stout
Bartender: How is it?
Me: It's cherry good!!!
Friends: facepalm
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 08 2014
Dad and the Cherries
This was a few months ago, and I only just thought of posting it here.
We were on our yearly holiday and mum decided to take us cherry picking. Driving along the road, mum told us to 'look out for signs leading to cherries.' In confusion, my dad looked at her and goes "I didn't know cherries could leave footprints. Hell, I didn't even know they had feet."
He laughed for a good 5 minutes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 24 2013
I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day: bought a bing, bought a boom.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jun 17 2017
I went shopping for cherries and a microphone the other day...
Bought a bing. Bought a boom.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
I went to go shopping for cherry's and microphones the other day
Bought a bing bought a boom
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 14 2019
Purchased a cherry and a microphone
Bought a bing, bought a boom
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 02 2019
Went shopping for a cherry and a microphone...
Bought a bing,
Bought a boom..
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 05 2018
How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
You paint its toenails red.
...
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
...
See how good it worksβ½
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 09 2017
I went shopping for cherries and microphones the other day
Bought a bing, bought a boom
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jun 14 2017
Went to the store yesterday to buy a cherry and a microphone stand.
Bought a Bing, bought a boom.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 12 2017
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream, and put a cherry on my head.
Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 04 2017
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
