According to my chocolate advent calender....

There is only 3 days till Xmas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Why was the calendar designer fired from the calender factory?

He tried to take a month off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Holding_McGroin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I was fired from a calender factory

I took a day off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bats_and_waffles
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I only lasted a month at the calender factory.

They fired me after taking a day off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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I fear for the calender.

I hear its days are numbered...

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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I work at a retail store and two guys stole a calender

They both got 6 months

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I couldn't get the chocolates out of my advent calender today

Foiled again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiiiiitchC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I used to work in a calender factory, but I got fired

... because I took a few days off..
Also, did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHoleInMoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Did I ever tell you the time I worked in a calender factory?

I got fired for taking a few days off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaboyLucy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2017
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Why should you never buy The Doors themed advent Calender's?

Because they keep breaking on through to the other side

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terrible_Paulsy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
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I had to get glasses for my calender

There were to many blind dates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erlazio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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Did you hear about the two dads that were busted for fighting over a pin-up calender?

... they each got 6 months.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fericyde
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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My mother is now mad at me

She talking about how she has an eye Dr. appointment soon. Mom: "Look on the calender and tell me when the 1st is, please" Me: "Well it appears to be next month" I'm still laughing and she is still mad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stripedsuit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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I fear for the calender

It's days are numbered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender?

They each got 6 months.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OfficeBadger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I got fired from my calender factory job

It was because I took a day off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobi_nachos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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